Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

Greenwich Pensioner bore her company inside, and the Chelsea

Pensioner mounted the box by the driver: his wooden leg sticking

out after the manner of a bowsprit, as if in jocular homage to his

friend’s sea-going career. Thus the equipage drove away. No Mrs.

Mitts returned that night.

What Mr. Battens might have done in the matter of taking it up,

goaded by the infuriated state of public feeling next morning, was

anticipated by another phenomenon. A Truck, propelled by the

Greenwich Pensioner and the Chelsea Pensioner, each placidly

smoking a pipe, and pushing his warrior breast against the handle.

The display on the part of the Greenwich Pensioner of his

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Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

‘marriage-lines,’ and his announcement that himself and friend had

looked in for the furniture of Mrs. G. Pensioner, late Mitts, by no

means reconciled the ladies to the conduct of their sister; on the

contrary, it is said that they appeared more than ever exasperated.

Nevertheless, my stray visits to Titbull’s since the date of this

occurrence, have confirmed me in an impression that it was a

wholesome fillip. The nine ladies are smarter, both in mind and

dress, than they used to be, though it must be admitted that they

despise the six gentlemen to the last extent. They have a much

greater interest in the external thoroughfare too, than they had

when I first knew Titbull’s. And whenever I chance to be leaning

my back against the pump or the iron railings, and to be talking to

one of the junior ladies, and to see that a flush has passed over

her face, I immediately know without looking round that a Greenwich

Pensioner has gone past.

CHAPTER XXX – THE RUFFIAN

I entertain so strong an objection to the euphonious softening of

Ruffian into Rough, which has lately become popular, that I restore

the right word to the heading of this paper; the rather, as my

object is to dwell upon the fact that the Ruffian is tolerated

among us to an extent that goes beyond all unruffianly endurance.

I take the liberty to believe that if the Ruffian besets my life, a

professional Ruffian at large in the open streets of a great city,

notoriously having no other calling than that of Ruffian, and of

disquieting and despoiling me as I go peacefully about my lawful

business, interfering with no one, then the Government under which

I have the great constitutional privilege, supreme honour and

happiness, and all the rest of it, to exist, breaks down in the

discharge of any Government’s most simple elementary duty.

What did I read in the London daily papers, in the early days of

this last September? That the Police had ‘AT LENGTH SUCCEEDED IN

CAPTURING TWO OF THE NOTORIOUS GANG THAT HAVE SO LONG INVESTED THE

WATERLOO ROAD.’ Is it possible? What a wonderful Police! Here is

a straight, broad, public thoroughfare of immense resort; half a

mile long; gas-lighted by night; with a great gas-lighted railway

station in it, extra the street lamps; full of shops; traversed by

two popular cross thoroughfares of considerable traffic; itself the

main road to the South of London; and the admirable Police have,

after long infestment of this dark and lonely spot by a gang of

Ruffians, actually got hold of two of them. Why, can it be doubted

that any man of fair London knowledge and common resolution, armed

with the powers of the Law, could have captured the whole

confederacy in a week?

It is to the saving up of the Ruffian class by the Magistracy and

Police – to the conventional preserving of them, as if they were

Partridges – that their number and audacity must be in great part

referred. Why is a notorious Thief and Ruffian ever left at large?

He never turns his liberty to any account but violence and plunder,

he never did a day’s work out of gaol, he never will do a day’s

work out of gaol. As a proved notorious Thief he is always

consignable to prison for three months. When he comes out, he is

surely as notorious a Thief as he was when he went in. Then send

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