Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

contemplation had until then been the order of the day.

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Within these twelve months, there arose among the young gentlemen

of London aspiring to Ruffianism, and cultivating that muchencouraged

social art, a facetious cry of ‘I’ll have this!’

accompanied with a clutch at some article of a passing lady’s

dress. I have known a lady’s veil to be thus humorously torn from

her face and carried off in the open streets at noon; and I have

had the honour of myself giving chase, on Westminster Bridge, to

another young Ruffian, who, in full daylight early on a summer

evening, had nearly thrown a modest young woman into a swoon of

indignation and confusion, by his shameful manner of attacking her

with this cry as she harmlessly passed along before me. MR.

CARLYLE, some time since, awakened a little pleasantry by writing

of his own experience of the Ruffian of the streets. I have seen

the Ruffian act in exact accordance with Mr. Carlyle’s description,

innumerable times, and I never saw him checked.

The blaring use of the very worst language possible, in our public

thoroughfares – especially in those set apart for recreation – is

another disgrace to us, and another result of constabular

contemplation, the like of which I have never heard in any other

country to which my uncommercial travels have extended. Years ago,

when I had a near interest in certain children who were sent with

their nurses, for air and exercise, into the Regent’s Park, I found

this evil to be so abhorrent and horrible there, that I called

public attention to it, and also to its contemplative reception by

the Police. Looking afterwards into the newest Police Act, and

finding that the offence was punishable under it, I resolved, when

striking occasion should arise, to try my hand as prosecutor. The

occasion arose soon enough, and I ran the following gauntlet.

The utterer of the base coin in question was a girl of seventeen or

eighteen, who, with a suitable attendance of blackguards, youths,

and boys, was flaunting along the streets, returning from an Irish

funeral, in a Progress interspersed with singing and dancing. She

had turned round to me and expressed herself in the most audible

manner, to the great delight of that select circle. I attended the

party, on the opposite side of the way, for a mile further, and

then encountered a Police-constable. The party had made themselves

merry at my expense until now, but seeing me speak to the

constable, its male members instantly took to their heels, leaving

the girl alone. I asked the constable did he know my name? Yes,

he did. ‘Take that girl into custody, on my charge, for using bad

language in the streets.’ He had never heard of such a charge. I

had. Would he take my word that he should get into no trouble?

Yes, sir, he would do that. So he took the girl, and I went home

for my Police Act.

With this potent instrument in my pocket, I literally as well as

figuratively ‘returned to the charge,’ and presented myself at the

Police Station of the district. There, I found on duty a very

intelligent Inspector (they are all intelligent men), who,

likewise, had never heard of such a charge. I showed him my

clause, and we went over it together twice or thrice. It was

plain, and I engaged to wait upon the suburban Magistrate to-morrow

morning at ten o’clock.

In the morning I put my Police Act in my pocket again, and waited

on the suburban Magistrate. I was not quite so courteously

received by him as I should have been by The Lord Chancellor or The

Lord Chief Justice, but that was a question of good breeding on the

suburban Magistrate’s part, and I had my clause ready with its leaf

turned down. Which was enough for ME.

Conference took place between the Magistrate and clerk respecting

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the charge. During conference I was evidently regarded as a much

more objectionable person than the prisoner; – one giving trouble

by coming there voluntarily, which the prisoner could not be

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