Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

twin peeped, and to revisit his horrible house, and look at him in

his blue and spotty and screaming stage, as he reached from floor

to ceiling and from wall to wall. The young woman who brought me

acquainted with Captain Murderer had a fiendish enjoyment of my

terrors, and used to begin, I remember – as a sort of introductory

overture – by clawing the air with both hands, and uttering a long

low hollow groan. So acutely did I suffer from this ceremony in

combination with this infernal Captain, that I sometimes used to

plead I thought I was hardly strong enough and old enough to hear

the story again just yet. But, she never spared me one word of it,

and indeed commanded the awful chalice to my lips as the only

preservative known to science against ‘The Black Cat’ – a weird and

glaring-eyed supernatural Tom, who was reputed to prowl about the

world by night, sucking the breath of infancy, and who was endowed

with a special thirst (as I was given to understand) for mine.

This female bard – may she have been repaid my debt of obligation

to her in the matter of nightmares and perspirations! – reappears

in my memory as the daughter of a shipwright. Her name was Mercy,

though she had none on me. There was something of a shipbuilding

flavour in the following story. As it always recurs to me in a

vague association with calomel pills, I believe it to have been

reserved for dull nights when I was low with medicine.

There was once a shipwright, and he wrought in a Government Yard,

and his name was Chips. And his father’s name before him was

Chips, and HIS father’s name before HIM was Chips, and they were

all Chipses. And Chips the father had sold himself to the Devil

for an iron pot and a bushel of tenpenny nails and half a ton of

copper and a rat that could speak; and Chips the grandfather had

sold himself to the Devil for an iron pot and a bushel of tenpenny

nails and half a ton of copper and a rat that could speak; and

Chips the great-grandfather had disposed of himself in the same

direction on the same terms; and the bargain had run in the family

for a long, long time. So, one day, when young Chips was at work

Page 96

Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

in the Dock Slip all alone, down in the dark hold of an old

Seventy-four that was haled up for repairs, the Devil presented

himself, and remarked:

‘A Lemon has pips,

And a Yard has ships,

And I’ll have Chips!’

(I don’t know why, but this fact of the Devil’s expressing himself

in rhyme was peculiarly trying to me.) Chips looked up when he

heard the words, and there he saw the Devil with saucer eyes that

squinted on a terrible great scale, and that struck out sparks of

blue fire continually. And whenever he winked his eyes, showers of

blue sparks came out, and his eyelashes made a clattering like

flints and steels striking lights. And hanging over one of his

arms by the handle was an iron pot, and under that arm was a bushel

of tenpenny nails, and under his other arm was half a ton of

copper, and sitting on one of his shoulders was a rat that could

speak. So, the Devil said again:

‘A Lemon has pips,

And a Yard has ships,

And I’ll have Chips!’

(The invariable effect of this alarming tautology on the part of

the Evil Spirit was to deprive me of my senses for some moments.)

So, Chips answered never a word, but went on with his work. ‘What

are you doing, Chips?’ said the rat that could speak. ‘I am

putting in new planks where you and your gang have eaten old away,’

said Chips. ‘But we’ll eat them too,’ said the rat that could

speak; ‘and we’ll let in the water and drown the crew, and we’ll

eat them too.’ Chips, being only a shipwright, and not a Man-ofwar’s

man, said, ‘You are welcome to it.’ But he couldn’t keep his

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207

Leave a Reply 0

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *