my own pocket, lest my exploring hand should find a specimen or two
of those vermin in it.)
You may believe that all this was very terrible to Chips; but even
all this was not the worst. He knew besides, what the rats were
doing, wherever they were. So, sometimes he would cry aloud, when
he was at his club at night, ‘Oh! Keep the rats out of the
convicts’ burying-ground! Don’t let them do that!’ Or, ‘There’s
one of them at the cheese down-stairs!’ Or, ‘There’s two of them
smelling at the baby in the garret!’ Or, other things of that
sort. At last, he was voted mad, and lost his work in the Yard,
and could get no other work. But, King George wanted men, so
before very long he got pressed for a sailor. And so he was taken
off in a boat one evening to his ship, lying at Spithead, ready to
sail. And so the first thing he made out in her as he got near
her, was the figure-head of the old Seventy-four, where he had seen
the Devil. She was called the Argonaut, and they rowed right under
the bowsprit where the figure-head of the Argonaut, with a
sheepskin in his hand and a blue gown on, was looking out to sea;
and sitting staring on his forehead was the rat who could speak,
and his exact words were these: ‘Chips ahoy! Old boy! We’ve
pretty well eat them too, and we’ll drown the crew, and will eat
them too!’ (Here I always became exceedingly faint, and would have
asked for water, but that I was speechless.)
The ship was bound for the Indies; and if you don’t know where that
is, you ought to it, and angels will never love you. (Here I felt
myself an outcast from a future state.) The ship set sail that
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Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller
very night, and she sailed, and sailed, and sailed. Chips’s
feelings were dreadful. Nothing ever equalled his terrors. No
wonder. At last, one day he asked leave to speak to the Admiral.
The Admiral giv’ leave. Chips went down on his knees in the Great
State Cabin. ‘Your Honour, unless your Honour, without a moment’s
loss of time, makes sail for the nearest shore, this is a doomed
ship, and her name is the Coffin!’ ‘Young man, your words are a
madman’s words.’ ‘Your Honour no; they are nibbling us away.’
‘They?’ ‘Your Honour, them dreadful rats. Dust and hollowness
where solid oak ought to be! Rats nibbling a grave for every man
on board! Oh! Does your Honour love your Lady and your pretty
children?’ ‘Yes, my man, to be sure.’ ‘Then, for God’s sake, make
for the nearest shore, for at this present moment the rats are all
stopping in their work, and are all looking straight towards you
with bare teeth, and are all saying to one another that you shall
never, never, never, never, see your Lady and your children more.’
‘My poor fellow, you are a case for the doctor. Sentry, take care
of this man!’
So, he was bled and he was blistered, and he was this and that, for
six whole days and nights. So, then he again asked leave to speak
to the Admiral. The Admiral giv’ leave. He went down on his knees
in the Great State Cabin. ‘Now, Admiral, you must die! You took
no warning; you must die! The rats are never wrong in their
calculations, and they make out that they’ll be through, at twelve
to-night. So, you must die! – With me and all the rest!’ And so
at twelve o’clock there was a great leak reported in the ship, and
a torrent of water rushed in and nothing could stop it, and they
all went down, every living soul. And what the rats – being waterrats
– left of Chips, at last floated to shore, and sitting on him
was an immense overgrown rat, laughing, that dived when the corpse
touched the beach and never came up. And there was a deal of
seaweed on the remains. And if you get thirteen bits of seaweed,