have been deprived of almost sixty years, and I am satisfied you
are sincerely joyful to find me in the state I now am in; but,
alas! it is but a mistaken kindness. These are things but of short
duration, and if they were to continue for a hundred years longer,
I can’t see how I should be anyways the better.
I know the world too well to be fond of it, and am fully satisfied
that the difference between a long and a short life is
insignificant, especially when I consider the accidents and company
I am to encounter. Do but look seriously and impartially upon the
astonishing notion of time and eternity, what an immense deal has
run out already, and how infinite it is still in the future; do but
seriously and deliberately consider this, and you will find, upon
the whole, that three days and three ages of life come much to the
same measure and reckoning.
As soon as he had ended his discourse upon the vanity and
uncertainty of human life, he looked steadfastly upon her. Sister,
says he, I conjure you not to be disturbed at what I am going to
tell you, which you will undoubtedly find to be true in every
particular. I perceive my glass is run, and I have now no more to
do in this world but to take my leave of it; for to-morrow about
this time my speech will be again taken from me, and, in a short
time, my fit will return; and the next day, which I understand is
the day on which I came into this troublesome world, I shall
exchange it for another, where, for the future, I shall for ever be
free from all manner of sin and sufferings.
The good woman would have made him a reply, but he prevented her by
telling her he had no time to hearken to unnecessary complaints or
animadversions. I have a great many things in my mind, says he,
that require a speedy and serious consideration. The time I have
to stay is but short, and I have a great deal of important business
to do in it. Time and death are both in my view, and seem both to
call aloud to me to make no delay. I beg of you, therefore, not to
disquiet yourself or me. What must be, must be. The decrees of
Providence are eternal and unalterable; why, then, should we
torment ourselves about that which we cannot remedy?
I must confess, my dear sister, I owe you many obligations for your
exemplary fondness to me, and do solemnly assure you I shall retain
the sense of them to the last moment. All that I have to request
of you is, that I may be alone for this night. I have it in my
thoughts to leave some short observations behind me, and likewise
to discover some things of great weight which have been revealed to
me, which may perhaps be of some use hereafter to you and your
friends. What credit they may meet with I cannot say, but depend
the consequence, according to their respective periods, will
account for them, and vindicate them against the supposition of
falsity and mere suggestion.
Upon this, his sister left him till about four in the morning, when
coming to his bedside to know if he wanted anything, and how he had
rested, he made her this answer; I have been taking a cursory view
of my life, and though I find myself exceedingly deficient in
several particulars, yet I bless God I cannot find I have any just
grounds to suspect my pardon. In short, says he, I have spent this
night with more inward pleasure and true satisfaction than ever I
spent a night through the whole course of my life.
After he had concluded what he had to say upon the satisfaction
that attended an innocent and well-spent life, and observed what a
mighty consolation it was to persons, not only under the
apprehension, but even in the very agonies of death itself, he
desired her to bring him his usual cup of water, and then to help