Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

utmost rigour of the law. I remember that we sat in a sort of

board-room, on such very large square horse-hair chairs that I

wondered what race of Patagonians they were made for; and further,

that an undertaker gave me his card when we were in the full moral

freshness of having just been sworn, as ‘an inhabitant that was

newly come into the parish, and was likely to have a young family.’

The case was then stated to us by the Coroner, and then we went

down-stairs – led by the plotting Beadle – to view the body. From

that day to this, the poor little figure, on which that sounding

legal appellation was bestowed, has lain in the same place and with

the same surroundings, to my thinking. In a kind of crypt devoted

to the warehousing of the parochial coffins, and in the midst of a

perfect Panorama of coffins of all sizes, it was stretched on a

box; the mother had put it in her box – this box – almost as soon

as it was born, and it had been presently found there. It had been

opened, and neatly sewn up, and regarded from that point of view,

it looked like a stuffed creature. It rested on a clean white

cloth, with a surgical instrument or so at hand, and regarded from

that point of view, it looked as if the cloth were ‘laid,’ and the

Giant were coming to dinner. There was nothing repellent about the

poor piece of innocence, and it demanded a mere form of looking at.

So, we looked at an old pauper who was going about among the

coffins with a foot rule, as if he were a case of Self-Measurement;

and we looked at one another; and we said the place was well

whitewashed anyhow; and then our conversational powers as a British

Jury flagged, and the foreman said, ‘All right, gentlemen? Back

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Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

again, Mr. Beadle!’

The miserable young creature who had given birth to this child

within a very few days, and who had cleaned the cold wet door-steps

immediately afterwards, was brought before us when we resumed our

horse-hair chairs, and was present during the proceedings. She had

a horse-hair chair herself, being very weak and ill; and I remember

how she turned to the unsympathetic nurse who attended her, and who

might have been the figure-head of a pauper-ship, and how she hid

her face and sobs and tears upon that wooden shoulder. I remember,

too, how hard her mistress was upon her (she was a servant-of-allwork),

and with what a cruel pertinacity that piece of Virtue spun

her thread of evidence double, by intertwisting it with the

sternest thread of construction. Smitten hard by the terrible low

wail from the utterly friendless orphan girl, which never ceased

during the whole inquiry, I took heart to ask this witness a

question or two, which hopefully admitted of an answer that might

give a favourable turn to the case. She made the turn as little

favourable as it could be, but it did some good, and the Coroner,

who was nobly patient and humane (he was the late Mr. Wakley), cast

a look of strong encouragement in my direction. Then, we had the

doctor who had made the examination, and the usual tests as to

whether the child was born alive; but he was a timid, muddle-headed

doctor, and got confused and contradictory, and wouldn’t say this,

and couldn’t answer for that, and the immaculate broker was too

much for him, and our side slid back again. However, I tried

again, and the Coroner backed me again, for which I ever afterwards

felt grateful to him as I do now to his memory; and we got another

favourable turn, out of some other witness, some member of the

family with a strong prepossession against the sinner; and I think

we had the doctor back again; and I know that the Coroner summed up

for our side, and that I and my British brothers turned round to

discuss our verdict, and get ourselves into great difficulties with

our large chairs and the broker. At that stage of the case I tried

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