Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

music of the barrel-organ, drum, and cymbals. On the whole, not

more monotonous than the Ring in Hyde Park, London, and much

merrier; for when do the circling company sing chorus, THERE, to

the barrel-organ, when do the ladies embrace their horses round the

neck with both arms, when do the gentlemen fan the ladies with the

tails of their gallant steeds? On all these revolving delights,

and on their own especial lamps and Chinese lanterns revolving with

them, the thoughtful weaver-face brightens, and the Hotel de Ville

sheds an illuminated line of gaslight: while above it, the Eagle

of France, gas-outlined and apparently afflicted with the

prevailing infirmities that have lighted on the poultry, is in a

very undecided state of policy, and as a bird moulting. Flags

flutter all around. Such is the prevailing gaiety that the keeper

of the prison sits on the stone steps outside the prison-door, to

have a look at the world that is not locked up; while that

agreeable retreat, the wine-shop opposite to the prison in the

prison-alley (its sign La Tranquillite, because of its charming

situation), resounds with the voices of the shepherds and

shepherdesses who resort there this festive night. And it reminds

me that only this afternoon, I saw a shepherd in trouble, tending

this way, over the jagged stones of a neighbouring street. A

magnificent sight it was, to behold him in his blouse, a feeble

little jog-trot rustic, swept along by the wind of two immense

gendarmes, in cocked-hats for which the street was hardly wide

enough, each carrying a bundle of stolen property that would not

have held his shoulder-knot, and clanking a sabre that dwarfed the

prisoner.

‘Messieurs et Mesdames, I present to you at this Fair, as a mark of

my confidence in the people of this so-renowned town, and as an act

of homage to their good sense and fine taste, the Ventriloquist,

the Ventriloquist! Further, Messieurs et Mesdames, I present to

you the Face-Maker, the Physiognomist, the great Changer of

Countenances, who transforms the features that Heaven has bestowed

upon him into an endless succession of surprising and extraordinary

visages, comprehending, Messieurs et Mesdames, all the contortions,

energetic and expressive, of which the human face is capable, and

all the passions of the human heart, as Love, Jealousy, Revenge,

Hatred, Avarice, Despair! Hi hi! Ho ho! Lu lu! Come in!’ To

this effect, with an occasional smite upon a sonorous kind of

tambourine – bestowed with a will, as if it represented the people

who won’t come in – holds forth a man of lofty and severe

demeanour; a man in stately uniform, gloomy with the knowledge he

possesses of the inner secrets of the booth. ‘Come in, come in!

Your opportunity presents itself to-night; to-morrow it will be

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Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

gone for ever. To-morrow morning by the Express Train the railroad

will reclaim the Ventriloquist and the Face-Maker! Algeria will

reclaim the Ventriloquist and the Face-Maker! Yes! For the honour

of their country they have accepted propositions of a magnitude

incredible, to appear in Algeria. See them for the last time

before their departure! We go to commence on the instant. Hi hi!

Ho ho! Lu lu! Come in! Take the money that now ascends, Madame;

but after that, no more, for we commence! Come in!’

Nevertheless, the eyes both of the gloomy Speaker and of Madame

receiving sous in a muslin bower, survey the crowd pretty sharply

after the ascending money has ascended, to detect any lingering

sous at the turning-point. ‘Come in, come in! Is there any more

money, Madame, on the point of ascending? If so, we wait for it.

If not, we commence!’ The orator looks back over his shoulder to

say it, lashing the spectators with the conviction that he beholds

through the folds of the drapery into which he is about to plunge,

the Ventriloquist and the Face-Maker. Several sous burst out of

pockets, and ascend. ‘Come up, then, Messieurs!’ exclaims Madame

in a shrill voice, and beckoning with a bejewelled finger. ‘Come

up! This presses. Monsieur has commanded that they commence!’

Monsieur dives into his Interior, and the last half-dozen of us

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