Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

if I might look at her little sitting-room? She willingly replied

Yes, and we went into it together: she leaving the door open, with

an eye as I understood to the social proprieties. The door opening

at once into the room without any intervening entry, even scandal

must have been silenced by the precaution.

It was a gloomy little chamber, but clean, and with a mug of

wallflower in the window. On the chimney-piece were two peacock’s

feathers, a carved ship, a few shells, and a black profile with one

eyelash; whether this portrait purported to be male or female

passed my comprehension, until my hostess informed me that it was

her only son, and ‘quite a speaking one.’

‘He is alive, I hope?’

‘No, sir,’ said the widow, ‘he were cast away in China.’ This was

said with a modest sense of its reflecting a certain geographical

distinction on his mother.

‘If the old gentlemen here are not given to talking,’ said I, ‘I

hope the old ladies are? – not that you are one.’

She shook her head. ‘You see they get so cross.’

‘How is that?’

‘Well, whether the gentlemen really do deprive us of any little

matters which ought to be ours by rights, I cannot say for certain;

but the opinion of the old ones is they do. And Mr. Battens he do

even go so far as to doubt whether credit is due to the Founder.

For Mr. Battens he do say, anyhow he got his name up by it and he

done it cheap.’

‘I am afraid the pump has soured Mr. Battens.’

‘It may be so,’ returned the tidy widow, ‘but the handle does go

very hard. Still, what I say to myself is, the gentlemen MAY not

pocket the difference between a good pump and a bad one, and I

would wish to think well of them. And the dwellings,’ said my

hostess, glancing round her room; ‘perhaps they were convenient

dwellings in the Founder’s time, considered AS his time, and

therefore he should not be blamed. But Mrs. Saggers is very hard

upon them.’

‘Mrs. Saggers is the oldest here?’

‘The oldest but one. Mrs. Quinch being the oldest, and have

totally lost her head.’

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Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

‘And you?’

‘I am the youngest in residence, and consequently am not looked up

to. But when Mrs. Quinch makes a happy release, there will be one

below me. Nor is it to be expected that Mrs. Saggers will prove

herself immortal.’

‘True. Nor Mr. Battens.’

‘Regarding the old gentlemen,’ said my widow slightingly, ‘they

count among themselves. They do not count among us. Mr. Battens

is that exceptional that he have written to the gentlemen many

times and have worked the case against them. Therefore he have

took a higher ground. But we do not, as a rule, greatly reckon the

old gentlemen.’

Pursuing the subject, I found it to be traditionally settled among

the poor ladies that the poor gentlemen, whatever their ages, were

all very old indeed, and in a state of dotage. I also discovered

that the juniors and newcomers preserved, for a time, a waning

disposition to believe in Titbull and his trustees, but that as

they gained social standing they lost this faith, and disparaged

Titbull and all his works.

Improving my acquaintance subsequently with this respected lady,

whose name was Mrs. Mitts, and occasionally dropping in upon her

with a little offering of sound Family Hyson in my pocket, I

gradually became familiar with the inner politics and ways of

Titbull’s Alms-Houses. But I never could find out who the trustees

were, or where they were: it being one of the fixed ideas of the

place that those authorities must be vaguely and mysteriously

mentioned as ‘the gentlemen’ only. The secretary of ‘the

gentlemen’ was once pointed out to me, evidently engaged in

championing the obnoxious pump against the attacks of the

discontented Mr. Battens; but I am not in a condition to report

further of him than that he had the sprightly bearing of a lawyer’s

clerk. I had it from Mrs. Mitts’s lips in a very confidential

moment, that Mr. Battens was once ‘had up before the gentlemen’ to

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