Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

knee cords and white stockings, a very long-sleeved waistcoat, a

very large neckerchief doubled or trebled round his throat, and a

crumpled white hat crowns his ghastly parchment face. This fellow

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Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

looks like an executed postboy of other days, cut down from the

gallows too soon, and restored and preserved by express diabolical

agency. Numbers five, six, and seven, are hulking, idle, slouching

young men, patched and shabby, too short in the sleeves and too

tight in the legs, slimily clothed, foul-spoken, repulsive wretches

inside and out. In all the party there obtains a certain twitching

character of mouth and furtiveness of eye, that hint how the coward

is lurking under the bully. The hint is quite correct, for they

are a slinking sneaking set, far more prone to lie down on their

backs and kick out, when in difficulty, than to make a stand for

it. (This may account for the street mud on the backs of Numbers

five, six, and seven, being much fresher than the stale splashes on

their legs.)

These engaging gentry a Police-constable stands contemplating. His

Station, with a Reserve of assistance, is very near at hand. They

cannot pretend to any trade, not even to be porters or messengers.

It would be idle if they did, for he knows them, and they know that

he knows them, to be nothing but professed Thieves and Ruffians.

He knows where they resort, knows by what slang names they call one

another, knows how often they have been in prison, and how long,

and for what. All this is known at his Station, too, and is (or

ought to be) known at Scotland Yard, too. But does he know, or

does his Station know, or does Scotland Yard know, or does anybody

know, why these fellows should be here at liberty, when, as reputed

Thieves to whom a whole Division of Police could swear, they might

all be under lock and key at hard labour? Not he; truly he would

be a wise man if he did! He only knows that these are members of

the ‘notorious gang,’ which, according to the newspaper Policeoffice

reports of this last past September, ‘have so long infested’

the awful solitudes of the Waterloo Road, and out of which almost

impregnable fastnesses the Police have at length dragged Two, to

the unspeakable admiration of all good civilians.

The consequences of this contemplative habit on the part of the

Executive – a habit to be looked for in a hermit, but not in a

Police System – are familiar to us all. The Ruffian becomes one of

the established orders of the body politic. Under the playful name

of Rough (as if he were merely a practical joker) his movements and

successes are recorded on public occasions. Whether he mustered in

large numbers, or small; whether he was in good spirits, or

depressed; whether he turned his generous exertions to very

prosperous account, or Fortune was against him; whether he was in a

sanguinary mood, or robbed with amiable horse-play and a gracious

consideration for life and limb; all this is chronicled as if he

were an Institution. Is there any city in Europe, out of England,

in which these terms are held with the pests of Society? Or in

which, at this day, such violent robberies from the person are

constantly committed as in London?

The Preparatory Schools of Ruffianism are similarly borne with.

The young Ruffians of London – not Thieves yet, but training for

scholarships and fellowships in the Criminal Court Universities –

molest quiet people and their property, to an extent that is hardly

credible. The throwing of stones in the streets has become a

dangerous and destructive offence, which surely could have got to

no greater height though we had had no Police but our own ridingwhips

and walking-sticks – the Police to which I myself appeal on

these occasions. The throwing of stones at the windows of railway

carriages in motion – an act of wanton wickedness with the very

Arch-Fiend’s hand in it – had become a crying evil, when the

railway companies forced it on Police notice. Constabular

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