Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

Sharpeye, addressing Mr. Superintendent, says:

‘You noticed that young man, sir, in at Darby’s?’

‘Yes. What is he?’

‘Deserter, sir.’

Mr. Sharpeye further intimates that when we have done with his

services, he will step back and take that young man. Which in

course of time he does: feeling at perfect ease about finding him,

and knowing for a moral certainty that nobody in that region will

be gone to bed.

Later still in the night, we came to another parlour up a step or

two from the street, which was very cleanly, neatly, even

tastefully, kept, and in which, set forth on a draped chest of

drawers masking the staircase, was such a profusion of ornamental

crockery, that it would have furnished forth a handsome sale-booth

at a fair. It backed up a stout old lady – HOGARTH drew her exact

likeness more than once – and a boy who was carefully writing a

copy in a copy-book.

‘Well, ma’am, how do YOU do?’

Sweetly, she can assure the dear gentlemen, sweetly. Charmingly,

charmingly. And overjoyed to see us!

‘Why, this is a strange time for this boy to be writing his copy.

In the middle of the night!’

‘So it is, dear gentlemen, Heaven bless your welcome faces and send

ye prosperous, but he has been to the Play with a young friend for

his diversion, and he combinates his improvement with

entertainment, by doing his school-writing afterwards, God be good

to ye!’

The copy admonished human nature to subjugate the fire of every

fierce desire. One might have thought it recommended stirring the

fire, the old lady so approved it. There she sat, rosily beaming

at the copy-book and the boy, and invoking showers of blessings on

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Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

our heads, when we left her in the middle of the night, waiting for

Jack.

Later still in the night, we came to a nauseous room with an earth

floor, into which the refuse scum of an alley trickled. The stench

of this habitation was abominable; the seeming poverty of it,

diseased and dire. Yet, here again, was visitor or lodger – a man

sitting before the fire, like the rest of them elsewhere, and

apparently not distasteful to the mistress’s niece, who was also

before the fire. The mistress herself had the misfortune of being

in jail.

Three weird old women of transcendent ghastliness, were at

needlework at a table in this room. Says Trampfoot to First Witch,

‘What are you making?’ Says she, ‘Money-bags.’

‘WHAT are you making?’ retorts Trampfoot, a little off his balance.

‘Bags to hold your money,’ says the witch, shaking her head, and

setting her teeth; ‘you as has got it.’

She holds up a common cash-bag, and on the table is a heap of such

bags. Witch Two laughs at us. Witch Three scowls at us. Witch

sisterhood all, stitch, stitch. First Witch has a circle round

each eye. I fancy it like the beginning of the development of a

perverted diabolical halo, and that when it spreads all round her

head, she will die in the odour of devilry.

Trampfoot wishes to be informed what First Witch has got behind the

table, down by the side of her, there? Witches Two and Three croak

angrily, ‘Show him the child!’

She drags out a skinny little arm from a brown dustheap on the

ground. Adjured not to disturb the child, she lets it drop again.

Thus we find at last that there is one child in the world of

Entries who goes to bed – if this be bed.

Mr. Superintendent asks how long are they going to work at those

bags?

How long? First Witch repeats. Going to have supper presently.

See the cups and saucers, and the plates.

‘Late? Ay! But we has to ‘arn our supper afore we eats it!’ Both

the other witches repeat this after First Witch, and take the

Uncommercial measurement with their eyes, as for a charmed windingsheet.

Some grim discourse ensues, referring to the mistress of

the cave, who will be released from jail to-morrow. Witches

pronounce Trampfoot ‘right there,’ when he deems it a trying

distance for the old lady to walk; she shall be fetched by niece in

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