Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

housekeeper – far from young, but of a comely presence, suggestive

of a well-matured foot and ankle. She was cheerily dressed, had a

fan in her hand, and wore large gold earrings and a large gold

cross. She would have been out holiday-making (as I settled it)

but for the pestilent rain. Strasbourg had given up holiday-making

for that once, as a bad job, because the rain was jerking in gushes

out of the old roof-spouts, and running in a brook down the middle

of the street. The housekeeper, her arms folded on her bosom and

her fan tapping her chin, was bright and smiling at her open

window, but otherwise Straudenheim’s house front was very dreary.

The housekeeper’s was the only open window in it; Straudenheim kept

himself close, though it was a sultry evening when air is pleasant,

and though the rain had brought into the town that vague refreshing

smell of grass which rain does bring in the summer-time.

The dim appearance of a man at Straudenheim’s shoulder, inspired me

with a misgiving that somebody had come to murder that flourishing

merchant for the wealth with which I had handsomely endowed him:

the rather, as it was an excited man, lean and long of figure, and

evidently stealthy of foot. But, he conferred with Straudenheim

instead of doing him a mortal injury, and then they both softly

opened the other window of that room – which was immediately over

the housekeeper’s – and tried to see her by looking down. And my

opinion of Straudenheim was much lowered when I saw that eminent

citizen spit out of window, clearly with the hope of spitting on

the housekeeper.

Page 44

Dickens, Charles – The Uncommercial Traveller

The unconscious housekeeper fanned herself, tossed her head, and

laughed. Though unconscious of Straudenheim, she was conscious of

somebody else – of me? – there was nobody else.

After leaning so far out of the window, that I confidently expected

to see their heels tilt up, Straudenheim and the lean man drew

their heads in and shut the window. Presently, the house door

secretly opened, and they slowly and spitefully crept forth into

the pouring rain. They were coming over to me (I thought) to

demand satisfaction for my looking at the housekeeper, when they

plunged into a recess in the architecture under my window and

dragged out the puniest of little soldiers, begirt with the most

innocent of little swords. The tall glazed head-dress of this

warrior, Straudenheim instantly knocked off, and out of it fell two

sugar-sticks, and three or four large lumps of sugar.

The warrior made no effort to recover his property or to pick up

his shako, but looked with an expression of attention at

Straudenheim when he kicked him five times, and also at the lean

man when HE kicked him five times, and again at Straudenheim when

he tore the breast of his (the warrior’s) little coat open, and

shook all his ten fingers in his face, as if they were ten

thousand. When these outrages had been committed, Straudenheim and

his man went into the house again and barred the door. A wonderful

circumstance was, that the housekeeper who saw it all (and who

could have taken six such warriors to her buxom bosom at once),

only fanned herself and laughed as she had laughed before, and

seemed to have no opinion about it, one way or other.

But, the chief effect of the drama was the remarkable vengeance

taken by the little warrior. Left alone in the rain, he picked up

his shako; put it on, all wet and dirty as it was; retired into a

court, of which Straudenheim’s house formed the corner; wheeled

about; and bringing his two forefingers close to the top of his

nose, rubbed them over one another, cross-wise, in derision,

defiance, and contempt of Straudenheim. Although Straudenheim

could not possibly be supposed to be conscious of this strange

proceeding, it so inflated and comforted the little warrior’s soul,

that twice he went away, and twice came back into the court to

repeat it, as though it must goad his enemy to madness. Not only

that, but he afterwards came back with two other small warriors,

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