“Alkaid, Mizar, Alioth,” I murmured, “Megrez, Phecda … ”
“Merak and Dubhe,” he said, finishing off the Big Dipper and surprising me, both for having overheard and for knowing the rest.
“Back where I left them so many years ago,” he went on. “I’ve a very peculiar feeling now-the thing I set out to analyze tonight. Did you ever look back at some moment in your past and have it suddenly grow so vivid that all the intervening years seemed brief, dreamlike, impersonal-the motions of a May afternoon surrendered to routine?”
“No,” I said.
“One day, when you do, remember-the cognac,” he said, and he took another sip and passed me the bottle. I had some more and returned it to him.
“They did actually creep, though, those thousands of days. Petty pace, and all that,” he continued. “I know this intellectually, though something else is currently denying it. I am aware of it particularly, because I am especially conscious of the difference between that earlier time and this present. It was a cumulative thing, the change. Space travel, cities under the sea, the advances in medicine-even our first contact with the aliens-all of these things occurred at different times and everything else seemed unchanged when they did. Petty pace. Life pretty much the same but for this one new thing. Then another, at another time. Then another. No massive revolution. An incremental process is what it was. Then suddenly a man is ready to retire, and this gives rise to reflection. He looks back, back to Cambridge, where a young man is climbing a building. He sees those stars. He feels the texture of that roof. Everything that follows is a blur, a kaleidoscopic monochrome. He is here and he is there. Everything else is unreal. But they are two different worlds, Fred-two completely different worlds-and he didn’t really see it happen, never actually caught either one in the act of going or coming. And that is the feeling that accompanies me tonight.”
“Is it a good feeling or a bad one?” I said.
“I don’t really know. I haven’t worked up an emotion to go with it yet.”
“Let me know when you do, will you? You’ve got me curious.” He chuckled. I did, too.
“You know, it’s funny,” I said, “that you never stopped climbing.”
He was silent for a while, then said, “About the climbing, it’s rather peculiar … Of course, it was somewhat in the nature of a tradition where I was a student, though I believe I liked it more than most. I kept at it for several years after I left the university, and then it became a more or less sporadic thing with changes of residence and lack of opportunity. I would get spells, though-compulsions, actually-when I just had to climb. I would take a holiday, then, to someplace where the architecture was congenial. I’d spend my nights scaling the buildings, clambering about rooftops and spires.”
“Acrophilia,” I said.
“True. Baptizing a thing doesn’t explain it, though. I never understood why I did it. Still don’t, for that matter. I did finally stop it for a long while, though. Middle-age hormone shift perhaps. Who knows? Then I came here to teach. It was when I heard of your own activities that I began thinking about it again. This led to the desire, the act, the return of the compulsion. It has been with me ever since. I’ve spent more time wondering why people quit climbing things than why they start.”
“It does seem the natural thing to do.”
“Exactly.”
He took another drink, offered me one. I would have liked to but I know my limits, and sitting there on the ledge, I was not about to push them. So he gestured with the bottle, skyward, then: “To the lady with the smile,” he said, and drank it for me.
“To the rocks of empire,” he added a moment later, with a swing and a swig to another starry sector. The wrong one, but no matter. He knew as well as I that it was still below the horizon.
He settled back, found a cigar, lit it, mused: “How many eyes per head, I wonder, in the place they regard the ‘Mona Lisa’? Are they faceted? Fixed? And of what color?”