to a rock and drop me on a kelp farm, as Jarvis puts it,
which sounds interesting but which I don’t understand, since
that would mean I was underwater.
“What now?” said Jarvis to Goodwife Filster, who then
said a lot of things that weren’t true, like that I was a plague
carrier and a thief and a liar, and she was about to explain
what she meant by my being responsible for the fall of Istar
when Woose, the dwarf, ran into the magistrate’s office and
yelled, “Fire! Fire at Goodwife Filster’s!”
Then Woose saw Goodwife Filster and yelled, “Gods,
woman, your bakery is on fire!” and Goodwife Filster went
all white and staggered like someone had hit her, then she
ran out, and Woose ran out, and Jarvis ran out, but before
Jarvis ran out he locked me in here and said he would be
back.
So here I am with my facts machine and nothing to do. I
should write down some notes on the economic situation in
Newshore after Istar blew up and the crops drowned
because of the ocean that used to be two days north of here
but now comes up to the place where the Karkhovs once
had a giant melon field and is where Ark and I fish for
moonfins, but Jarvis is back now, and he’s waiting for me to
leave my cell after I finish this first.
“What are you writing?” he just now asked me, and
now he’s looking and . . .
*****
Report Number Three
Same day, about an hour after noon
Hi, Astinus! I’m writing this from the rooftop of the
Cats & Kitties, which is really just a tavern with a sign
showing a woman’s bosom with no dress on and isn’t a pet
shop at all, which was what I thought all the time I was
growing up but Ark wouldn’t take me there to find out. It’s
warmer now, and the sun is out and the sky is clear blue,
and I can see lots of bird droppings on the roof from last
year now that the snow is gone, and I might be sitting on
some but I can’t help it. Someone should clean this roof up,
but then no one is supposed to be up here and I wouldn’t be
either except that Magistrate Jarvis said I was safer here
than in jail, and he’s gone to try to calm down the mob
before I show up in town again.
So here I am, writing away on the roof and reading
over some letters that Ark left in the satchel with the facts
machine, and those letters are very interesting, though I
can’t imagine why Ark put them in here since I doubt very
much he meant to send them to you. I think Widow Muffin
wrote these letters to Ark, and she says a lot of things that
make me think that maybe they aren’t telling me the whole
truth whenever Ark asks me to go into town to buy
groceries when Widow Muffin comes over, and when I get
back they tell me they were just talking. I was quite amazed
at some of the things she said, and I don’t think I will ever
be able to look at either her or Ark again and not think
about them playing “warming the weasel,” which I should
probably explain but am too embarrassed to do, and you
wouldn’t believe me anyway.
How I got up here on the roof is an interesting story,
and I will write it down in case it is important. After I left
off last time, Magistrate Jarvis took my satchel away while
I was sending my report through the facts machine inside,
and he took me out of jail, then gave me my satchel back
and said that I could leave now, but I shouldn’t try to talk to
Good-wife Filster for a few years.
“What happened to her bakery?” I asked, and he said,
“Oh, the old windbag left a cloth sitting on an oven when
she went outside, and the cloth caught fire, and that spread
to the wall and ceiling. The place is pretty well ruined now.