Emma by Jane Austen

Now Emma was obliged to think of the pianoforte; and the remembrance of all her former fanciful and unfair conjectures was so little pleasing, that she soon allowed herself to believe her visit had been long enough; and, with a repetition of every thing that she could venture to say of the good wishes which she really felt, took leave.

CHAPTER IX

Emma’s pensive meditations, as she walked home, were not interrupted; but on entering the parlour, she found those who must rouse her. Mr. Knightley and Harriet had arrived during her absence, and were sitting with her father.–Mr. Knightley immediately got up, and in a manner decidedly graver than usual, said,

“I would not go away without seeing you, but I have no time to spare, and therefore must now be gone directly. I am going to London, to spend a few days with John and Isabella. Have you any thing to send or say, besides the `love,’ which nobody carries?”

“Nothing at all. But is not this a sudden scheme?”

“Yes–rather–I have been thinking of it some little time.”

Emma was sure he had not forgiven her; he looked unlike himself. Time, however, she thought, would tell him that they ought to be friends again. While he stood, as if meaning to go, but not going– her father began his inquiries.

“Well, my dear, and did you get there safely?–And how did you find my worthy old friend and her daughter?–I dare say they must have been very much obliged to you for coming. Dear Emma has been to call on Mrs. and Miss Bates, Mr. Knightley, as I told you before. She is always so attentive to them!”

Emma’s colour was heightened by this unjust praise; and with a smile, and shake of the head, which spoke much, she looked at Mr. Knightley.– It seemed as if there were an instantaneous impression in her favour, as if his eyes received the truth from her’s, and all that had passed of good in her feelings were at once caught and honoured.– He looked at her with a glow of regard. She was warmly gratified– and in another moment still more so, by a little movement of more than common friendliness on his part.–He took her hand;– whether she had not herself made the first motion, she could not say– she might, perhaps, have rather offered it–but he took her hand, pressed it, and certainly was on the point of carrying it to his lips– when, from some fancy or other, he suddenly let it go.–Why he should feel such a scruple, why he should change his mind when it was all but done, she could not perceive.–He would have judged better, she thought, if he had not stopped.–The intention, however, was indubitable; and whether it was that his manners had in general so little gallantry, or however else it happened, but she thought nothing became him more.– It was with him, of so simple, yet so dignified a nature.– She could not but recall the attempt with great satisfaction. It spoke such perfect amity.–He left them immediately afterwards– gone in a moment. He always moved with the alertness of a mind which could neither be undecided nor dilatory, but now he seemed more sudden than usual in his disappearance.

Emma could not regret her having gone to Miss Bates, but she wished she had left her ten minutes earlier;–it would have been a great pleasure to talk over Jane Fairfax’s situation with Mr. Knightley.– Neither would she regret that he should be going to Brunswick Square, for she knew how much his visit would be enjoyed–but it might have happened at a better time–and to have had longer notice of it, would have been pleasanter.–They parted thorough friends, however; she could not be deceived as to the meaning of his countenance, and his unfinished gallantry;–it was all done to assure her that she had fully recovered his good opinion.–He had been sitting with them half an hour, she found. It was a pity that she had not come back earlier!

In the hope of diverting her father’s thoughts from the disagreeableness of Mr. Knightley’s going to London; and going so suddenly; and going on horseback, which she knew would be all very bad; Emma communicated her news of Jane Fairfax, and her dependence on the effect was justified; it supplied a very useful check,– interested, without disturbing him. He had long made up his mind to Jane Fairfax’s going out as governess, and could talk of it cheerfully, but Mr. Knightley’s going to London had been an unexpected blow.