Farmer, Philip Jose – Riverworld 06 – ( Shorts) Tales of Riverworld

“Have you indeed?”

“Yes. Now help me to my feet.”

Selous placed a foot against the man’s chest and shoved, hard.

“Either strike me dead for that, or get ready to do some explaining,” he said.

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“I will kill you!” screamed the man, starting to get up again. Once more Selous shoved him down.

“I’m running out of patience with you,” he said. “Who are you, and why were you following me?”

“I am Gaius Caligula Caesar, and I explain myself to no one.”

“Caligula?” repeated Selous, arching an eyebrow.

“You know of me?”

Selous nodded.

“Then bow down and pay homage to me, and perhaps I shall let you live.”

“Answer my questions, and perhaps I’ll let you live.”

“I am immortal,” said Caligula. “I cannot die.”

Selous chuckled. “Where do you think you are, and how do you suppose you got here?”

Caligula concentrated for a moment. “I had a dream,” he said. “I dreamed that my retainers stabbed me, cut me to ribbons. And then I seemed to awaken on the bank of a broad river. But it was only a dream, for here I am.”

“It was not a dream.”

“Then this must be heaven.”

“It is not heaven,” answered Selous. “I assure you of that.”

“It must be heaven,” Caligula said again. Suddenly he looked around. “But where is Jupiter? Where are Mars and the fleet-footed Mercury? More important, where is Venus? Where is Aphrodite? Where are the Helens of our mission? Where are the women?”

“That I cannot tell you,” said Selous, “though I know of your reputation.”

“And well-deserved it is,” said Caligula. “Who but I would know all the hundred and one ways to pleasure

EVERY MAN A GOD

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Venus and take her pleasure for his own?” He paused and stared at Selous. “And what god are you?”

“My name is Frederick Courtney Selous, and I’m no god. On the other hand, you do not strike me as a pleasurer of women or anything else.”

“Then you simply demonstrate your ignorance,” said Caligula. “You do not know the splendid technique to which I am privy. But, of course, you would not have an emperor’s phallus, a god’s constancy.”

“You do think well of yourself, don’t you?” said Selous.

“And why should I not?”

“At any rate, I assure you that no gods exist here.”

“No?” said Caligula, touching himself in a familiar and, to Selous, disgusting way. “Then I am the last and thus the greatest. I command you now to let me rise.”

“You seem to do that quite well on your own.”

“I will show you a rising in time of which you could not dream.” Caligula glared at him. “You must be one of the gods’ servants. Let me up and take me to them, or it will go hard with you, Frederick Courtney Selous.”

“I’ve killed more elephants and lions and buffalo than you can count,” said Selous. “Don’t make me add a god to the list.”

“I cannot die,” answered Caligula confidently. “They tried in Rome, and all that happened is that I ascended to heaven.”

“This isn’t exactly heaven,” said Selous.

“If I am here, then it must be.”

Selous stepped back and allowed Caligula to get to his feet, watching him every second. “Why were you following me?”

“I seek the city of the gods,” answered the Roman. “I

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saw you disappear into the forest, and I decided that you knew where it was and would lead me to it.”

“You were wrong.”

“A god cannot be wrong,” said Caligula. “Therefore, you must be lying.”

“It is true that I seek a city,” said Selous. “Any city. There must be some force governing this world, some set of rules and rulers, and since they have not manifested themselves along the riverbank, I decided to go in search of their civilization. I was following the trail of Sir Richard Burton, whose name will be as unknown to you as my own. It seems to have vanished, but I hope to pick it up again. I do not know where he is headed, but I assume he also has the intelligence to seek out the rulers of this place, and I hope to join forces with him before he reaches his goal. That is the whole of it.”