“All right,” he grated. “On your feet!”
He jerked the rope, and Caligula, gasping and choking, rose awkwardly.
“You hurt me!” he said accusingly.
“You tried to kill me,” answered Selous.
“But it is an honor to die for a god’s pleasure,” said Caligula, honestly puzzled by Selous’s reaction.
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“It’s an honor I can do without.”
“Then you are a fool.”
Selous jerked the rope, and Caligula began gasping again.
“What about a god dying for my pleasure?” he asked.
“Blasphemy!” cried Caligula, charging at Selous with his head lowered.
Selous sidestepped him just as he would sidestep a rhino that had lowered its head to charge. Instead of putting a bullet in his ear, as he would then have done with the rhino, he simply waited until Caligula reached the end of the rope and gave it a quick, hard tug. The Roman did a complete flip in the air and landed heavily on his back.
“I think I broke my arms!” he wailed.
“I thought gods couldn’t feel pain,” said Selous sardonically.
“Help me!” whined Caligula. “I’m hurt!”
“I’ll help you,” said Selous, approaching him. “You’ve got three seconds to get up before I kick you in the groin again.”
“No!” shrieked Caligula, jumping to his feet. “My person is sacrosanct! You can never touch it again!”
“Just so we understand each other,” said Selous, approaching him and slapping his face.
He expected Caligula to curse, or cry, or perhaps even giggle. Instead the Roman looked at him as if nothing had happened, and said conversationally, “I think we’re more likely to find a city by the River. Cities need commerce, and the lake doesn’t afford much likelihood of that.”
Once he got over his temporary surprise, Selous found
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that he agreed with his prisoner. “All right,” he said. “Let’s start walking toward the River. You first.”
“We could use some horses,” commented Caligula as he headed off to his right.
“If we find any, I’ll trade you for them.”
“Gods are not property to be traded by merchants,” said Caligula, suddenly haughty.
“What makes you a god, anyway?” asked Selous.
“I am a god by proclamation.”
“Whose proclamation?”
“My own,” answered Caligula.
“That’s all there is to it?”
“No one has ever challenged it.”
“No one?”
“Well, no one who was still alive an hour later.”
“Nice work if you can get it,” commented Selous dryly.
“I am a god,” insisted Caligula. “Without me there would be no night or day, no rain or sunshine. When I die the heavens will open up and pour forth a stream of black lava that will kill all living things and cover the earth.”
“That must comfort you in times of need,” said Selous.
“You don’t believe me?”
“If you’re a god, create a pair of horses for us. If not, stop talking; you’ll need all your strength for the march that lies ahead of us.”
“I can create horses,” said Caligula with conviction. “I can bring them to life right here this instant.”
“Then why don’t you?”
“Because you dared to lay your hand on a god. You don’t deserve to ride.”
“Do you deserve to walk, too?” asked Selous.
“I am a god. I feel no pain, no fatigue. The sun is my brother; it cannot burn my skin. The grass is my lover; it renews me with every step I take.”
“How very fortunate for you.”
“I require no nourishment, no water, no sleep,” continued Caligula. “Later tonight, when you finally can remain awake no longer, I shall change into a snake and squeeze the life from you. Then,” he continued conversationally, “I will eat your heart, and very possibly your eyeballs, for you have truly excellent vision, and I will go find my city.”
“Since you are capable of all these things, I assume you won’t mind if I tie you securely to a tree before I go to sleep?” said Selous.
“Not at all,” said Caligula pleasantly. “I would expect no less of you… though of course it will do you no good.”
They walked another mile in silence, and then Selous stopped, causing Caligula to choke when he reached the end of the rope.