Sasha was aware of my uneasiness but pretended not to notice.
To take my mind off both the threat and the boundless beauty of the
sunlit world, she did what she does so well-which is be Sasha.
“Where will You be later” she asked. “When it’s over.”
“If it’s over. They could be wrong.”
“Where will You be when I’m on the air?”
“After midnight . . . probably Bobby’s place.”
“Make sure he turns on his radio.”
“Are You taking requests tonight?” I asked.
“You don’t have to call in. I’ll know what You need.”
At the next corner, she swung the Explorer right, onto Ocean Avenue.
She drove uphill, away from the sea.
Fronting the shops and restaurants beyond the deep sidewalks,
eighty-foot stone pines spread wings of branches across the street.
The pavement was feathered with shadow and sunshine.
Moonlight Bay, home to twelve thousand people, rises from the harbor
and flatlands into gentle serried hills. In most California travel
guides, our town is called the Jewel of the Central Coast, partly
because the chamber of commerce schemes relentlessly to have this
sobriquet widely used.
The town has earned the name, however, for many reasons, not least of
which is our wealth of trees. Majestic oaks with hundredyear crowns.
Pines, cedars, phoenix palms. Deep eucalyptus groves.
My favorites are the clusters of lacy melaleuca luminaria draped with
stoles of ermine blossoms in the spring.
As a result of our relationship, Sasha had applied protective film to
the Explorer windows. Nevertheless, the view was shockingly brighter
than that to which I was accustomed.
I slid my glasses down my nose and peered over the frames.
The pine needles stitched an elaborate dark embroidery on a wondrous
purple-blue, late-afternoon sky bright with mystery, and a reflection
of this pattern flickered across the windshield.
I quickly pushed my glasses back in place, not merely to protect my
eyes but because suddenly I was ashamed for taking such delight in this
rare daytime journey even as my father lay dying.
Judiciously speeding, never braking to a full stop at those
intersections without traffic, Sasha said, “I’ll go in with You.”
“That’s not necessary.”
Sasha’s intense dislike of doctors and nurses and all things medical
bordered on a phobia. Most of the time she was convinced that she
would live forever; she had great faith in the power of vitamins,
minerals, antioxidants, positive thinking, and mind-body healing
techniques. A visit to any hospital, however, temporarily shook her vi
conviction that she would avoid the fate of all flesh.
“Really,” she said, “I should be with You. I love your dad.”
Her outer calm was belied by a quiver in her voice, and I was touched
by her willingness to go, just for me, where she most loathed to go.
I said, “I want to be alone with him, this little time we have.”
“Truly? ” “Truly. Listen, I forgot to leave dinner out for Orson.
Could You go back to the house and take care of that?”
“Yeah,” she said, relieved to have a task. “Poor Orson. He and your
dad were real buddies.”
“I swear he knows.”
“Sure. Animals know things.”
“Especially Orson.”
From Ocean Avenue, she turned left onto Pacific View. Mercy Hospital
was two blocks away.
She said, “He’ll be okay.”
“He doesn’t show it much, but he’s already grieving in his way.”
“I’ll give him lots of hugs and cuddles.”
“Dad was his link to the day.”
“I’ll be his link now,” she promised.
“He can’t live exclusively in the dark.”
“He’s got me, and I’m never going anywhere.”
“Aren’t You?” I asked.
“He’ll be okay.”
We weren’t really talking about the dog anymore.
The hospital is a three-story California Mediterranean structure built
in another age when that term did not bring to mind uninspired
tract-house architecture and cheap construction. The deeply set
windows feature patinaed bronze frames. Ground-floor rooms are shaded
by loggias with arches and limestone columns.
Some of the columns are entwined by the woody vines of ancient
bougainvillea that blanket the loggia roofs. This day, even with
spring a couple of weeks away, cascades of crimson and radiant purple
flowers overhung the eaves.
For a daring few seconds, I pulled my sunglasses down my nose and