It hurt to see the hurt on his face. “This is—very sudden, dear,” Davy Windholm said low.
“I only got the message yesterday,” she answered. The invitation to join a new voyage, back to Jonna.
“And you’re accepting? With no questions, hesitations, conditions?” He paused. “I’d been informed of the plan. They’d like to have the Dagmar along. I haven’t mentioned it here because the answer was too obvious. So soon after the black hole business, who’d want to leave home? Nor would the House ever agree to tie up our ship so long.”
“We have others,” she said automatically, uselessly.
“All committed elsewhere, except the Hulda, and of course she’s not only too small but it’d be a downright waste to send her off with a destination like that.”
Perforce Lissa nodded. The exploratory scout could venture into extreme conditions—high radiation backgrounds, deep gravity wells, or less foreseeable hazards—better than Dagmar could, and make planetary landings to boot; but she was meant for preliminary missions, gathering basic data, and had berthing and life support for no more than four crewfolk.
“It didn’t cross my mind,” Davy went on in quiet amazement, “that these people would then approach you personally, or that you’d even consider going.”
[165] “The message to me was from the Gargantuan Karl,” she said. “I’ve told you about him.”
“Oh, yes, a good person. But not human. The expedition will be nonhuman, do you realize that? A consortium of Gargantuans and Xanaduans—with, I understand, some Sklerons, interested in the colonization possibilities. But the main objective, to study that … Forerunner thing.”
“I know. Karl explained.”
“What can you contribute, dear?”
“Nothing to that part, I suppose. However, other kinds of scientists will go too. Pure scientists. A whole world to study! We didn’t make a decent scratch in the surface, our little group.”
Davy attempted a smile. “A deep enough scratch for quite a few research papers and theses in the next several years.”
“I know,” Lissa now snapped. “Though the black hole sensation seems to have driven real, detail-work science out of nearly everybody’s mind, here on Asborg. We should be thankful that a few beings haven’t gone cosmology-crazy but want to learn about matters that can be dealt with.”
“Nonhumans.”
“Yes. Not given to stampeding after the newest fashion like our breed.”
He regarded her for a while before he asked softly, “Are you bitter about your own triumph? In God’s name, why?”
She couldn’t stay irritated with him, nor bring herself to lie to him. “Oh, I’m restless again, and here’s a chance to work it off doing something worthwhile.”
“Already? After all that stress and danger, you don’t want any more peace and quiet”—he gestured at the lovely late-summer landscape—“than the little bit you’ve had?”
“If I don’t grab this opportunity fast, it’ll be gone.”
“I’ve told you before about the trip I was on, away back in my second youth, the one man in a crew of Arzethi. Perfectly decent, yes, fascinating beings, who tried hard for fellowship with [166] me. I may never have made clear to you how lonely I got. And that was for a single year.”
“Karl informs me they hope for two or three humans. Versatility.”
He raised his brows. “Would any besides you come from Asborg?”
“I suppose not,” she said indifferently.
“Then they’ll be foreign to you in their own ways. Besides, I can’t see so few, in a setting like that, not getting on each other’s nerves. More than with the aliens. During five years!”
She had thought about that, and how to cope, but didn’t want to talk about it. “Long enough, maybe, to start actually understanding the biosphere.”
“You’re no biologist.” Did she catch a note of desperation?
She sought to ease him. “No, I’ll play the same role as I did before. I’ve got a bagful of woodcraft skills, and I’ll improve them as regards Jonna. Dad, don’t be afraid for me. I’ll stay careful. I like living, really I do.”
“If it’s wilderness you want to study, Freydis is right next door.”
“I’ve been there, over and over. Have you forgotten?” she couldn’t help throwing at him.
“It’s still far from being well-known,” he persisted forlornly.