“Patience,” said the Capra. “When you want to catch monkeys you put lots of tempting things in the calabash. You don’t frighten them off before they have their hands in it. We’ll do the nasty questions and scaring after lunch. They’ve been very cooperative. Don’t be ungrateful. Go and enjoy your nice prisoner’s nubbins like a good boy. You’ll be back on army rations soon.”
* * *
And so it was.
“M’lud, first I’d like to ask that a policeman be dispatched with my assistant to bring the accused’s wallet from his personal possessions here, to be used as evidence.”
“That should have been entered as evidence beforehand, Mr. Capra, as you well know.”
“M’lud, the court shares a building with the Central Police Station. This seemed the most obvious way of dealing with any possibility that anyone might tamper with the evidence. I have grounds to believe certain members of the police are in fact in collusion with the true perpetrators of these crimes.”
The judge raised his eyebrows. “That’s a serious accusation, Mr. Capra. I hope you can substantiate it.”
“I’ll do my best, M’lud. Now, if a policeman could accompany my assistant to recover my client’s possessions? I will proceed with other evidence in the meanwhile.”
The judge nodded. “It is irregular, Mr. Capra. But under the circumstances, proceed. Granted.”
“Objection, M’lud!” protested the prosecution.
The judge shook his head. “Objection overruled. Continue, Mr. Capra.”
“M’lud, if we could proceed to exhibit one of the evidence which I have entered. As you can see these are certified copies of the lease of 207 Kensington Mansions and payment records for the rental thereof. Could I ask the clerk of the court to read out in whose name the lease is held, and from whose account the rentals were paid?”
The judge nodded. And the reedy-voiced clerk read, “Conrad M. Fitzhugh.”
As the court bubbled and a furious Talbot turned on Candy . . . the policeman and Capra’s assistant returned with Fitz’s wallet.
“Please give that item to the clerk of the court,” requested Capra. “And sir, if you could be so kind as to examine the inner pouch of the wallet. You should find a key there. Please hold it up.”
He did. “M’lud. That is the key to Number 207 Kensington Mansions. Another copy of this key was in the possession of the agents, Messrs. Smythe and Austing. With a letter of authority from the tenant and both Mr. Smythe and Mr. Austing, as well as the block-caretaker, we ascertained that key held by Smythe and Austing fits the lock. I have their copy of the key here. I think we can establish that the two are identical. I should like to enter these as exhibits two and three. If the clerk of the court would like to examine them?”
The reedy-voiced clerk was enjoying himself very much. And he could indeed confirm the two keys were identical. The judge had to bang his gavel and call for silence after that.
“Now, M’lud, I don’t believe the charge of breaking and entering . . . into one’s own property can be entertained. I think we should also question the credibility of a witness who expects us to believe a large man would climb the outside of a five-story building to enter by the window, or by breaking down the door, when he has the key in his pocket. I would also question how someone who felt she was in extreme danger from my client didn’t even bother to change the lock. Far from being guilty of breaking and entering . . . in fact my client should charge Ms. Foster and Mr. Cartup with trespass.”
In the sudden silence Candice’s voice, protesting to Talbot, was remarkably clear. “I forgot he had a key. He always knocked.”
“Objection!”
“Sustained.” The judge nodded to the clerk. “See that the charges of breaking and entering are struck from the roll. Proceed, Mr. Capra. As usual, you are providing the court with much entertainment.” The judge’s voice did not indicate that he approved.
“I do my best, M’lud,” said Capra, urbanely. “I have here a statement of account from the municipal pound. As you will see, the vehicle which the night concierge at Kensington Mansions described in such loving detail, was impounded some four hours before the incident is supposed to have occurred. He also said my client entered the building by the front door. This is unusual for a man who is supposed to have entered number 207 through a window.” Capra turned to the judge. “I think it is very clear that one or the other or both of these witnesses is lying.”