Heinlein, Robert A – Friday

or will at least call you and try to dicker. But cut your price? Look, dear, nobody buys at a fire sale if they can afford the best.”

I dropped one at each multinational. I didn’t really expect any nibbles but if anyone wanted the world’s best courier, they could study my qualifications.

When the offices started to close, we slid back to the hotel to keep our dinner date, and found both Anna and Burt just a leetle tipsy. Not drunk, just happy and a touch too deliberate in their movements.

Burt struck a pose and declaimed, “Ladies! Look at me and admire! I am a great manÄ”

“You’re swacked.”

“That, too, Friday, m’love. But you see before you wup! the man who banked the broke at Monte Carlo. I’m a genius, a blinkin’, true-blue, authentic, f’nanchal genius. You may touch me.”

I had been planning to touch him, later that night. Now I wondered. “Anna, did Burt break the bank?”

“No, but he certainly bent it.” She stopped to belch carefully, covering up. “Scuse me. We dropped a little here, then went over to the Flamingo to change our luck. Got there just before post time for the third at Santa Anita and Burt put a superbuck on the nose of a little mare with his mother’s nameÄa long shot and she romped home. So here is a wheel right outside the track room and Burt put his winnings on double zeroÄ”

“He was drunk,” Goldie stated.

“I am genius!”

“Both. Double zero hit, and Burt put this enormous stack on black and hit, and left it there and hit, and moved it to red and hitÄ and the croupier sent for the pit boss. Burt wanted to go for broke but the pit boss limited him to five kilobucks.”

“Peasants. Gestapo. Hired menials. Not a gentleman sportsman in their entire casino. I took my patronage elsewhere.”

“And lost it all,” said Goldie.

“Goldie m’old frien’, you do not show proper respec’.”

“He might have lost it all,” agreed Annie, “but I saw to it that he followed the pit boss’s advice. With six of the casino’s sheriffs around us we went straight to their casino’s office of the Lucky Strike State Bank and deposited it. Otherwise I would not have let him leave. Imagine carrying a half a megabuck from the Flamingo to the Dunes in cash. He wouldn’t have lived to cross the street.”

“Preposterous! Vegas has less violent crime `nany other city North Amer’ca. Anna, m’true love, you are a bossy, notional woman. A henpecker. I shall not marry you even when you fall on your knees at Fremont `n’ Main `n’ beg me to. Instead I shall take your shoes away from you and beat you and feed you on crusts.”

“Yes, dear. You can put your own shoes on now because you are going to feed all three of us. On crusts of caviar and truffles.”

“And champagne. But not because you are henpeckering me. Ladies. Friday, Goldie, my true lovesÄwill you help me celebrate my f’nanchal genius? With libations and pheasant under glass and gorgeous show girls in fancy hats?”

“Yes,” I answered.

“Yes before you change your mind. Anna, did you say `half a megabuck’?”

“Burt. Show them.”

Burt produced a new bankbook, let us look at it while he buffed his nails on his stomach and looked smug. Bk 504,000. Over half a million in the only hard currency in North America. Uh, slightly over thirty-one kilos of fine gold. No, I wouldn’t want to carry that much across the street, eitherÄnot in bullion. Not without a wheelbarrow. It would mass almost half as much as I do. A bankbook is more convenient.

Yes, I would drink Burt’s champagne.

Which we did, in the theater at the Stardust. Burt knew how much cumshaw to give the captain of waiters to get us ringsides (or paid too much, I don’t know which) and we sopped up champagne and had a lovely dinner centered around Cornish game hen but billed as squab and the show girls were young and pretty and cheerful and healthy and smelled freshly bathed. And they had show boys with stuffed codpieces for us women to look at, only I didn’t, not much, because they didn’t smell right and I got the feeling that they were more interested in each other than they were in women. Their business, of course, but on the whole I preferred the show girls.

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