When Sheeana did not respond, Taraza said: “Have you nothing to say, child?”
“What is there to say, Mother Superior? You have said it all.”
Taraza sent a searching glance at Odrade. “Have you any other little surprises for me, Dar?”
“I told you she was superior,” Odrade said.
Taraza returned her attention to Sheeana. “Are you proud of that opinion, child?”
“It frightens me, Mother Superior.”
Still holding her face as immobile as she could, Sheeana breathed more easily. Say only the deepest truth you can sense, she reminded herself. Those warning words from a teacher carried more meaning now. She kept her eyes slightly unfocused and aimed at the floor directly in front of the two women, avoiding the worst of the brilliant sunlight. She still felt her heart beating too rapidly and knew the Reverend Mothers would detect this. Odrade had demonstrated it many times.
“Well it should frighten you,” Taraza said.
Odrade asked: “Do you understand what is being said to you, Sheeana?”
“The Mother Superior wishes to know if I am fully committed to the Sisterhood,” Sheeana said.
Odrade looked at Taraza and shrugged. There was no need for more discussion of this between them. That was the way of it when you were part of one family as they were in the Bene Gesserit.
Taraza continued her silent study of Sheeana. It was a heavy gaze, energy-draining for Sheeana, who knew she must remain silent and permit that scorching examination.
Odrade put down feelings of sympathy. Sheeana was like herself as a young girl, in so many ways. She had that globular intellect which expanded on all surfaces the way a balloon expanded when filled. Odrade recalled how her own teachers had been admiring of this, but wary, just the way Taraza was now wary. Odrade had recognized this wariness while even younger than Sheeana and held no doubts that Sheeana saw it here. Intellect had its uses.
“Mmmmmm,” Taraza said.
Odrade heard the humming sound of the Mother Superior’s internal reflections as part of a simulflow. Odrade’s own memory had surged backward. The Sisters who had brought Odrade her food when she studied late had always loitered to observe her in their special way, just as Sheeana was watched and monitored at all times. Odrade had known about those special ways of observing from an early age. That was, after all, one of the great lures of the Bene Gesserit. You wanted to be capable of such esoteric abilities. Sheeana certainly possessed this desire. It was the dream of every postulant.
That such things might be possible for me!
Taraza spoke finally: “What is it you think you want from us, child?”
“The same things you thought you wanted when you were my age, Mother Superior.”
Odrade suppressed a smile. Sheeana’s wild sense of independence had skated close to insolence there and Taraza certainly recognized this.
“You think that is a proper use for the gift of life?” Taraza asked.
“It is the only use I know, Mother Superior.”
“Your candor is appreciated but I warn you to be careful in your use of it,” Taraza said.
“Yes, Mother Superior.”
“You already owe us much and you will owe us more,” Taraza said. “Remember that. Our gifts do not come cheaply.”
Sheeana has not the vaguest appreciation of what she will pay for our gifts, Odrade thought.
The Sisterhood never let its initiates forget what they owed and must repay. You did not repay with love. Love was dangerous and Sheeana already was learning this. The gift of life? A shudder began to course through Odrade and she cleared her throat to compensate.
Am I alive? Perhaps when they took me away from Mama Sibia I died. I was alive there in that house but did I live after the Sisters removed me?
Taraza said: “You may leave us now, Sheeana.”
Sheeana turned on one heel and left the room but not before Odrade saw the tight smile on the young face. Sheeana knew she had passed the Mother Superior’s examination.
When the door closed behind Sheeana, Taraza said: “You mentioned her natural ability with Voice. I heard it, of course. Remarkable.”
“She kept it well bridled,” Odrade said. “She has learned not to try it on us.”