“You’re right. You’ve got a real problem there. But I think there are a few things you’ve overlooked in reaching your final decision.”
“Such as…?”
“Well, first, you’re right. A bad king is worse than a good king. The problem is that a bad king is better than no king at all. Roddie Five is counting on you to fill his chair tomorrow, and if you don’t show up, the whole kingdom goes into a panic because the king has disappeared.”
“I hadn’t thought about it that way,” I admitted.
“Then there’s the thing with Grimble. We all pick up a little extra cash when we can, but in this case if it comes out that Grimble paid you to skip out when the King was counting on you, his head goes on the chopping block for treason.”
I closed my eyes.
That did it. It was bad enough to hurt the faceless masses, but when the mass had a face, even if it was Grimble’s, I couldn’t let him face a treason charge because of my cowardice.
“You’re right,” I sighed. “I’m going to have to sit in for the King tomorrow.”
“With me as your apprentice?”
“Ask me after tomorrow … if I’m still alive. In the meantime, scurry off and say ‘Hello’ to Badaxe. I know he’ll be glad to see you.”
“Your Majesty?”
I snapped back to the present, and realized the two arguers were now looking at me, presumably to render a decision.
“If I understand this case correctly,” I stalled, “both of you are claiming ownership of the same cat. Correct?”
Two heads bobbed in quick agreement.
“Well, if the two of you can’t decide the problem between you, it seems to me there’s only one solution. Cut the cat in two and each of you keep half.”