Hit or Myth by Robert Asprin

“I was afraid something like this would happen,” the General said when I concluded. “The King has been looking desperately for some way out of this marriage, and it looks like he’s found it. Well, needless to say, if there’s anything I can do to help, just ask.”

“Thanks, General. As a matter of fact, I….”

“… As long as it doesn’t go against the good of the kingdom,” Badaxe amended. “Like helping you to escape. Possiltum needs a king, and for the time being, you’re it!”

“Oh. Well… how about using your men to help find the king?”

Badaxe shook his head.

“Can’t do it. Massha has that assignment. If I sent my men to back her up, she’d think I didn’t have any faith in her.”

Terrific! I had an ally, if I could get around his loyalties and amorous entanglements.

The General must have noticed my expression.

“Anything else I’ll be willing to do.”

“Like what?”

“Well . . . like teaching you to defend yourself against your bride-to-be.”

That actually sounded promising.

“Do you think we’ll have enough time?”

With that, there was a heavy knocking at the door.

“Your Majesty! The carriage of Queen Hemlock is approaching the palace!”

“No,” said the General, with disheartening honesty.

We barely made it to our appointed places ahead of the Queen’s procession. The throne of Possiltum had been temporarily moved to a position just inside the doors to the palace, and only by sprinting through the corridors with undignified abandon were Badaxe and I able to reach our respective positions before the portals were thrown open.

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