Hit or Myth by Robert Asprin

“No, thanks,” I said as casually as I could, “I’d rather stand.”

Shai-ster looked at his helpless protectors, then shot a hard stare at me.

“Perhaps this won’t be as simple as I thought,” he admitted. “Say, you’ve got a unicorn, don’t you?”

“That’s right,” I confirmed, surprised by the sudden change in topic.

“I don’t suppose you’d be particularly scared if you woke up in the morning and found him in your bed . . . not all of him, just his head?”

“Scared? No, not particularly. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’d be mad enough to quit playing games and get down to serious revenge.”

The Mob spokesman sighed heavily.

“Well, that’s that. If we can’t make a deal, we’ll just have to do this the hard way. You can let the boys down now. We’ll be heading back in the morning.”

This time, it was my turn to smile.

“Not so fast. Who said I didn’t want to make a deal?”

For the first time since I met him, Shai-ster’s poise was shaken.

“But… I thought… if you can …”

“Don’t assume, Shai-ster. It’s a bad habit for businessmen to get into. I just don’t like to get pushed around, that’s all. Now then, as you said earlier, I believe we have some business to discuss.”

The spokesman shot a nervous glance at the ceiling.

“Um . . . could you let the boys down first? It’s a bit distracting.”

“Sure.”

I closed my eyes and released the spell. Mind you, unlike the disguise spell, I don’t have to close my eyes to remove a levitation spell. I just didn’t want to see the results. .

The room shook as two loud crashes echoed each other. I distinctly heard the bed assume a foolproof disguise as kindling.

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