Hit or Myth by Robert Asprin

“… But this can wait,” Don Bruce concluded, tucking the wand into his waistband. “We’ve got business to discuss.”

“Yes. We were just…” Shai-ster began.

“Shuddup! I’m talking to Skeeve here.”

The force behind Don Bruce’s sudden admonishment, combined with the Shai-ster’s quick obedience, made me hastily revise my opinion of the Mob leader. Strange or not, he was a force to be recognized.

“Now then, Mister Skeeve, what’s the police situation around here?”

“There aren’t any.”

Shaister’s eyebrows shot up.

“Then how do they enforce the laws?” he asked, forgetting himself.

“As far as I can tell, there are no laws either.”

“How ’bout that, Shai-ster?” Don Bruce laughed.

“No police, no laws, no lawyers. You’d be in trouble if you were born here.”

I started to ask what a lawyer was, but the godfather saved me from my own ignorance by plunging into the next question.

“How about politicians?”

“None.”

“Unions?”

“None.”

“Bookies?”

“Lots,” I admitted. “This is the gambling capital of the dimensions. As near as I can tell, though, they all operate independently. There’s no central organization.”

Don Bruce rubbed his hands together gleefully. “You listening to this, Shai-ster? This is some world Mister Skeeve is givin’ us here.”

“He’s not giving it to us,” Shai-ster corrected. “He’s offering access to it.”

“That’s right,” I said quickly. “Exploiting it is up to your organization. Now, if you don’t think your boys can handle it. …”

“We can handle it. A layout like this? It’s a piece of cake.”

Guido and Nunzio exchanged nervous glances, but held their silence as Don Bruce continued.

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