I WILL FEAR NO EVIL by Robert A. Heinlein

“Will your husband take one? Can you sneak me a copy?”

“No huhu, lake dear, I have dozens of skin pix—I was once a beauty contestant, remember? You are welcome to one…if you’ll keep your mouth shut about it.”

“Privileged communication. Your secrets are always safe with your attorney.”

“What do you like? Artistic? Or sexy?”

“Uh…what a choice to have to make!”

“Mmm, a pic can be both. I’m thinking of one of me in a shower, hair soaked, wet all over, not a speck of body paint, not even face makeup, not even—well, you’ll see. Is that on your wave length?”

“I’ll howl like a wolf!”

“You shall have it. Quick change of subject; we’re almost there. Jake? Does Boss stand any chance with this brain transplant thing?”

“I’m not a medical man. In my lay opinion—none.”

“So I thought. Then he doesn’t have long to live whether he has the operation or not, lake, I’m going to make still greater effort to dress even naughtier for him, as long as he lasts.”

“Eunice, you are a sweet girl. There is nothing nicer you could do for him. Much better than saying thanks for this trust fund.”

“I wasn’t thinking about that ridiculous million dollars, lake; I was thinking about Boss. Feeling sorry for him. I’ll go shopping tonight for something really exotic—or if I can’t find a novel exotic, then a simple skintight see-through. . . passé but always effective with the right paint job underneath—Joe is good at that. And—well, if I’m going to have guards now, some days I may wear nothing but paint—stilt heels to make my legs look even better—yes, I know they’re pretty!—heels, a minimum-gee, and paint.”

“And perfume.”

“Boss can’t smell, Jake. All gone.”

“I still have my sense of smell.”

“Oh. All right. I’ll wear perfume for you. And paint for Boss. I’ve never tried anything that extreme at work…but now that we no longer work at his offices—no longer see many people—and I can keep a semi-see-through smock around, just in case—I might as well see if Boss likes it. Joe will enjoy thinking up provocative designs, likes to paint me, and is not jealous of Boss, feels sorry for the poor old man just as I do. And it is so hard to find novelty in exotic clothes. Even though I shop at least one night a week.”

“Eunice.”

“Yes, sir. Yes, Jake.”

“Don’t shop tonight. That’s an order—from your boss by virtue of the power of attorney I hold.”

“Yes, Jake. May one ask why?”

“You can wear a paint-only job tomorrow if you wish—this car and my guards will deliver you like crown jewels. But I need the car tonight. Starting tomorrow you’ll have Johann’s car and guards, and you will always use them for shopping. And everything.”

“Yes, sir,” she said meekly.

“But you are mistaken about Johann not having long to live. His problem is that he has too long to live.”

“I don’t understand.”

“He’s trapped, dear. He’s fallen into the clutches of the medical profession and they won’t let him die. Once he allowed them to harness him into that life-support gear he lost his last chance. Have you noticed that his meals are served without a knife? Nor even a fork? Just a plastic spoon.,’

“But his hands tremble so. I sometimes feed him as he hates to have nurses ‘messing around’ as he calls it.”

“Think about it, dear. They have made it impossible for him to do anything but stay alive. A machine. A weary machine that hurts all the time. Eunice, this brain transplant is just a way for Johann to outsmart his doctors. A fancy way to commit suicide.”

“No!”

“Yes. They’ve taken the simple ways away from him, so he’s had to think up a fancy one. You and I are going to help him do it, exactly the way he wants it done. We seem to have arrived. Don’t cry, damn it; your husband will want to know why and you must not tell him. Do you feel like kissing me good-bye?”

“Oh, please do!”

“Stop the tears and turn up your pretty face, they’ll be unlocking us in a moment or two.”

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