“Mmm, I suppose not.”
“Thank you. I’m resigning as president of Smith Enterprises, and Mr. Byram Teal becomes our president and chief executive officer—he’s doing the work; it’s time he got the title—and pay and stock options and all the perks and privileges and tax loopholes. No more than fair.”
Parkinson said, “Now see here, Smith!”
“Hold it, youngster. Don’t start a remark to me with ‘Now see here—’ Address me as ‘Mr. Smith’ or Mr. Chairman.’ What is your point?”
Parkinson controlled himself, then said, “Very well, Mister Smith. I can’t accept this. Quite aside from promoting your assistant to the office of president in one jump—utterly unheard of!—if there is a change in management, 1 must be considered. I represent the second largest block of voting stock.”
“I did consider you for president, Parky.”
“You did?”
“Yep. I thought about it…and snickered.”
“Why, you—”
“Don’t say it, I might sue. What you forget is that my block has voting control. Now about your block— By company policy anyone representing five percent or more of voting stock is automatically on the board even if nobody loves him and he suffers from spiritual bad breath. Which describes both you and me.
“Or did describe you. Byram, what’s the late word on proxies and stock purchases?”
“A full report, Mr. Smith?”
“No, just tell Mr. Parkinson where he stands.”
“Yes, sir. Mr. Parkinson, you now control less than five percent of the voting stock.”
Smith added sweetly, “So you’re fired, you young ghoul. Jake, call a special stockholders’ meeting, legal notice, all formalities, for the purpose of giving Parky a gold watch and kicking him out—and electing his successor. Further business? None. Meeting’s adjourned. Stick around, Jake. You, too, Eunice. And Byram, if you have anything on your mind.”
Parkinson jumped to his feet. “Smith, you haven’t heard the last of this!”
“Oh, no doubt,” the old man said sweetly. “Meantime my respects to your mother-in-law and tell her that Byram will go on making her rich even though I’ve fired you.”
Parkinson left abruptly. Others started to leave. Smith said mildly, “Jake, how does a man get to be fifty years old without acquiring horse sense? Only smart thing that lad ever did was pick a rich mother-in-law. Yes, Hans?”
“Johann,” Hans von Ritter said, leaning on the table and speaking directly to the chairman, “I did not like your treatment of Parkinson.”
“Thanks. You’re honest with me to my face. Scarce these days.”
“Removing him from the board is okay; he’s an obstructionist. But there was no need to humiliate him.”
“I suppose not. One of my little pleasures, Hans. I don’t have many these days.”
A Simplex footman rolled in, hung the vacated chairs on its rack, rolled out; von Ritter continued: “1 have no intention of being treated that way. If you want nothing but Yes men on your board, let us note that I control much less than five percent of the voting stock. Do you want my resignation?”
“Good God, no! I need you, Hans—and Byram will need you still more. I can’t use trained seals; a man has to have the guts to disagree with me, or he’s a waste of space. But when a man bucks me,. I want him to do it intelligently. You do. You’ve forced me to change my mind several times—not easy, stubborn as I am. Now about this other—sit down. Eunice, whistle up that easy chair for Dr. von Ritter.”
The chair approached; von Ritter waved it back, it retreated. “No, I haven’t time to be cajoled. What do you want?” He straightened up; the boardroom table folded its legs, turned on edge, and glided away through a slot in the wall.
“Hans, I’ve surrounded myself with men who don’t like me, not a Yes man or trained seal among them. Even Byram—especially Byram—got his job by contradicting me and being right. Except when he’s been wrong and that’s why he needs men like you on the board. But Parkinson— I was entitled to clip him—publicly—because he called for my resignation—publicly. Nevertheless you are right, Hans; ‘tit for tat’ is childish. Twenty years ago—even ten—I would never have humiliated a man. If a man operates by reflex, as most do instead of using their noggins, humiliating him forces him to try to get even. I know better. But I’m getting senile, as we all know.”