I WILL FEAR NO EVIL by Robert A. Heinlein

While they were getting Joan into a nightgown she asked, “Winnie? How did you happen to burst in on me?”

“What? Why, the displays of course. Both your heart rate and respiration were way up. Exercise. So I rushed in to check—and sure enough, my bad girl had managed to get out of bed. Oh, how you frightened me, dear!”

“Winnie, there’s a hole in that story I could throw a dog through.”

The nurse stiffened. “What do you mean—Joan?”

“My heart rate and respiration must have climbed a good ten minutes before you came in.”

“Oh, dear! You won’t tell on me? You promised.”

“I did and so did you. Winnie with the sweet mouth, from now on neither of us is ever going to tell Dr. Garcia a durn thing unless we think he needs to know it. You and I, dear. Solid. Now tell me what happened.”

“Uh . . . oh, this is silly. Whoever is on watch at the remotes isn’t supposed to take his eyes off the displays even a moment. But you were doing so nicely . . . and Mrs. Sloan was taking a nap—which she needed, poor dear—and Dr. Garcia had gone to check on Mr. Salomon and he takes a grim view of being sent for unless the patient needs him. . . and the washroom is just down the hall from the displays—”

“I get it. We had the same urge at the same time. Right?”

Winnie blushed again. “I deserve to be fired. I know better than to take any chance with a patient. Patients do the damnedest things.”

“You aren’t ever going to be fired, you’re going to be here long after Dr. Garcia leaves. If you’ll stay. How do I look?”

“Simply lovely. I wouldn’t have guessed it but I do think this gown does more for you than that Cretan number.” (What did I tell you, Boss?) “But I’m going to put more lipstick on you. It’s all gone.”

“Now how in the world did that happen?”

Winnie giggled. “Don’t ask me. But guess maybe I’ll put on some myself before Doctor sees us. Joan? Is it all right for me to call you ‘Miss Joan’ when Dr. Garcia is around? He’s terribly strict.”

“Tell him to go soak his head. Sho’, sho’, honey, if it makes you feel easier. But I’m ‘Joan’ when he’s not around. You’re my coach. You’re going to make a lady out of me.” (That’s my job, Boss. And a tough one, I can see.) (So you need help with it. Don’t joggle my elbow; Winnie is our secret weapon.) (Okay. But this weapon night explode.) (Look, infant, I learned to cope with women long before your grandmother was born.)

“I’ll be glad to help, any way I can . . . Joan dear.”

“Then you can start by convincing dear Doctor that I’m well enough for a tub bath. I stink. Ladies ought not to stink.”

“Why, you had a bed bath’ not two hours ago!”

“I need more than a bed bath and you know it. Sell him the idea that you can help me into and- out of the tub and keep me from falling. If you have trouble with him, fetch him in and I’ll throw a tantrum. If he gives us grief, I’ll make him scrub my back.” Joan grinned. “So get lipstick on us; then go find him.”

(Joan Boss honey, see what I mean about the high neckline job? See what it does for us?) (I know that I feel somewhat more covered up. But only somewhat. Eunice, those breast panels are wicked.) (Oh, full, they’re not even transparent, just translucent. But that’s why this nightgown is so much sexier than the Cretan one. Men always mistake bare skin for sexiness. A typical male mistake~) (Maybe so, but I have never in my long life complained about bare skin.) (I won’t argue, Joan, but I’m going to pick out our clothes. Until you start thinking like a woman. But I had a specific reason for picking the gown which is—superficially—more modest. So that we will have it on when Jake comes in.)

(Eunice, Jake has probably gone home. He’s had a rough time.)

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