ISLANDS IN THE STREAM

“Who did you make love to first?”

“I made love to a very tall and beautiful Chinese girl who was very European and emancipated but would not go to the hotel to sleep with me because she said everybody would know about it and who would not let me sleep at her house because she said the servants would know about it. Her police dog already knew about it. He used to make it very difficult.”

“So where did you make love?”

“The way you do when you are children; in any place I could persuade her to and especially in vehicles and conveyances.”

“It must have been very bad for our friend, Mister X.”

“It was.”

“Was that all the love you made? Didn’t you ever sleep a night together?”

“Never.”

“Poor Tom. Was she worth all that trouble?”

“I don’t know. I think so. I should have rented a house instead of staying on at the hotel.”

“You should have rented a Sin House the way everyone does here.”

“I don’t like a Sin House.”

“I know. But after all if you wanted the girl.”

“The problem was solved another way. You’re not bored?”

“No, Tom, please. Not now. How was the problem solved?”

“One night I had dinner with the girl and then we rode in a boat for a long time and that was wonderful but uncomfortable. She had skin that was wonderful to touch and all the preliminaries of making love made her very excited and her lips were thin but they were very heavy with love. Then we went from the boat to her house and the police dog was there and there was the problem of not waking anyone and finally I went to the hotel alone and I didn’t feel good about any of it and I was tired of arguing and I knew she was right but I thought what the hell is the use of being so damned emancipated if you can’t go to bed. I thought if we are going to be emancipated, let’s free the sheets. Anyway I was feeling gloomy and frustrado—”

“I’ve never seen you frustrado. You must be funny frustrado.”

“I’m not. I’m just mean and that night I felt mean and disgusted.”

“Go on with the story.”

“Well, I got my key at the desk very frustrado and the hell with everything. It was a very big and rich and richly gloomy hotel and I rode up in the elevator to what I knew was my big and rich and gloomy and lonely room and no beautiful tall Chinese girl in it. So I walked down the corridor and unlocked the massive door of my gigantic gloomy room and then I saw what was there.”

“What was it?”

“Three absolutely beautiful Chinese girls, so beautiful they made my beautiful Chinese girl that I couldn’t get to bed seem like a schoolteacher. They were so beautiful you couldn’t stand it and none of them spoke any English.”

“Where were they from?”

“One of my millionaires sent them. One of them had a note for me on very thick paper in a parchment envelope. All it said was, ‘Love from C.W.’ ”

“What did you do?”

“I didn’t know their own customs so I shook hands with them and I kissed each one of them and then I told them that I thought the best way for all to get acquainted was to all take a shower.”

“How did you tell them?”

“In English.”

“Did they understand?”

“I made them understand correctly.”

“Then what did you do?”

“I was very embarrassed because I had never made love with three girls. Two girls is fun even though you do not like it. It’s not twice as good as one girl but it is different, and it is fun anyway when you are drunk. But three girls is a lot of girls and I was embarrassed. So I asked them if they wanted a drink and they didn’t. So I had a drink and we sat on the bed, which was fortunately, a very big bed, although they were all very small, and then I turned the lights out.”

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