‘How do you fit into all this?’
‘That’s an easy one. I live with my uncle, Paddy Cos-tello, at a place called Scardale, in the fells north of Ambleside. He has an excuse for a sheep farm up there that’s just about on its last legs. He and my father were members of the Big Man’s Organization in the North of England during the war. He found out about this bank van six months ago and got in touch with Colum.’
‘Why should he do that?’
‘Because drunk or sober-which isn’t often-he lives in a dream world of action and passion and God Save Ireland, cried the heroes. He sees himself still one of them carrying on the gallant struggle.’
‘And is that such a bad thing?’
‘It’s a foolish dream,’ she said, ‘which is worse. An echo of something that’s gone for ever. The world’s changed and it doesn’t need men like my uncle any longer.’
‘Or me?’
If the cap fits. Are you going to take that boat out of Ravenglass?’
‘I’d be a fool if I didn’t.’
She leaned against the rail and stared back into the past. ‘When I was a kid in Liverpool, all I ever got was Sean Rogan-the great Sean Rogan. My old man was by way of being a tan of yours. At least that’s what he said loudly across every bar counter on the waterfront. But that’s as far as it ever went. After my mother died, the drinking really got a hold on him.’
‘I’ve seen it happen,’ Rogan said. ‘A bad thing.’
Tunny how someone can destroy themselves in front of you,’ she said. ‘Even your love for them. I didn’t end up hating him, I just didn’t care. When he started mistaking my bedroom for his when he staggered in, I thought it was time to move on. He died the following year.’
‘What did you do?’
‘What every girl in my position does-went to London.’
‘How old were you?’
‘Sixteen, but that turned out to be a distinct advantage. Girls of that age have a strong appeal for some men.’
‘So I’ve heard/ he said gravely.
‘I got a job as a waitress, but that wouldn’t keep me in room and board. Then one of the customers offered me a job in his club. I was always a good dancer.’ She smiled calmly. ‘They’re right when they go on about the importance of the little sins-the Church, I mean. It’s amazing how quickly you can become what you never thought you would.’
‘It sounds like a bad plot.’
‘It gets even better. The police moved in and it turned out the boss had been squeezing some of the more respectable customers dry on the side. He dragged three of us down with him.’
‘What did you get?’
‘Six months. When I got out, I wrote to Uncle Paddy. His wife had died and he needed a woman round the place. He’s got a son, Brendan, aged seventeen. Had meningitis when he was a kid.’ She touched her head. ‘Needs looking after.’
‘And now you’re up to your ears in this lot? Why don’t you just pack your bags and get out?’
She shrugged, and watched the mist creeping in from the sea. ‘Why does anybody do anything? You become involved, I suppose, just like a fish in a net. Choose which way you twist, there’s no way out.’ She looked up at him, her face quite calm. ‘That’s how I’ve been all my life, Mr. Rogan, trapped in an invisible net with no way out.’
There was a stillness about her, a strange, brooding calm, and the green eyes held his steadily. It was as if she wanted him to say something, perhaps offer some solution, but there was nothing of value he could say.
‘I’ve been trying to crash out of something all my life and I’m forty years old.’
She nodded slowly. ‘I think you are a man held too easily by old loyalties.’
Which was a remarkably shrewd observation and Rogan lit another cigarette and changed the subject. ‘What kind of a set-up has Colum got back there in the mountains?’
‘At Scardale? Nothing very complicated. He’s recruited a couple of tearaways from Manchester. Professional crooks, they’ve been there a week now.’