Jules sat before the small dressing table, slowly brushing her hair. She didn’t look up when Sarah came into their bedroom.
‘I am glad you are alive, Juliana,’ Sarah said.
Then why do I want to shiver at your tone? Jules wondered. ‘Thank you,’ she said, not breaking count with her hairbrush.
‘You’ve been gone well over a month. Everyone was very upset. Father preached a marvelous sermon for you. He touched but once on your disobedience and your perfidy in swimming in the ocean.’
‘Now he can unpreach it,’ Jules said. Sarah, as was her habit, stepped behind the narrow screen to undress. ‘John is going to marry me.’
Jules raised her head at that, looking toward the screen in the mirror. His affections were short-lived, she thought. But she wasn’t angry at him; she was immensely relieved. ‘I am glad for you,’ she said. ‘John is very nice.’
Sarah fingered the buttons on her long nightgown. ‘I saw how he was looking at you this afternoon. But he won’t go back to you. Not now. Not after what you’ve done.’
‘But I didn’t do anything,’ Jules said.
‘So you say,’ Sarah said. ‘As for Saint, well, you’re better off with him. You should have stayed with him.’
I wanted to, but he didn’t want me.
Jules turned on the stool and eyed her sister silently for a long moment. She would be pretty if only she would smile – not just her mouth, but her eyes. Her hair, unlike Jules’s, was a soft brown and didn’t fly about her head in wild curls. ‘Sarah,’ she asked quietly, ‘do you love me?’
‘Yes, I suppose so,’ Sarah said finally, ‘but I want John.’
‘But you said you’re marrying him! You have him, Sarah. He has nothing to do with me!’
Suddenly Sarah seemed to collapse. She covered her face with her hands, and wrenching sobs broke from her throat.
Jules, appalled, quickly went to her.
‘What’s wrong, Sarah?’
The sobs continued, and Jules stood helplessly, watching her sister’s slender body shake.
‘John means nothing to me, please believe that.,’ Jules said. ‘He loves you. Why else would he marry you?’
‘You fool,’ Sarah whispered, raising her tearstained face. ‘He went crazy when Kanola’s body was discovered and we were told that you’d been with her. Crazy, do you hear? But I wanted him, Juliana. I’ve always wanted him. He grieved. And I … well, I comforted him.’
‘Well, of course you did. I’m certain he comforted you too.’
‘You stupid fool!’ Sarah nearly screamed at her. ‘I let him have me! That’s why he’s marrying me now. He has to! Dear God, I could be pregnant right now, and here you are, back again. I hate you!’
Jules stepped back, her face white. Very slowly she stripped off her white nightgown and began to dress. It didn’t occur to her to step behind the screen, and her sister’s shocked gasp only made her smile-, a small, bitter smile.
‘What are you doing now?’ ‘Nothing,’ Jules said.
‘He did debauch you, just like Father said.
Taking off your clothes without a thought! It’s disgusting.’
Jules turned a puzzled look to her sister. ‘Didn’t you take off your clothes with John?’ Sarah shuddered. ‘No, of course not. It was
dark. I )ust let him … well, I know that you understand what he did.’ She shuddered again, and Jules suddenly felt very sorry for John Bleecher.
She finished dressing in silence. ‘Where are you going?’
‘Out,’ Jules said, and quietly slipped from the room. The house was dark. Everyone was in bed. Jules carefully propped open the back kitchen door and walked quickly toward the beach along the back streets. She could hear sounds of revelry – men’s laughter and women’s giggles – and now it had a new meaning to her. She saw not a soul. When she reached the deserted beach-, she stripped off the hot, restricting gown and walked slowly down the beach toward the ocean, clad only in her short chemise. There was a half-moon, and as usual, the sky was clear, the stars dazzlingly bright. Gentle waves crested with barely a sound and slithered onto the wet sand. She didn’t wade into the water, but skirted the waves and sat on an outcropping rock., hugging her arms about her knees.