“Have you heard the news?” Bronki said one evening.
When Kren said that he didn’t usually pay any attention to that sort of thing, Bronki said, “The KUL and the PPG have just fought out a major war! When the KUL had the PPG down to a quarter of its original size, the PPG launched a poison gas attack on the KUL headquarters, effectively wiping them out! Now, the planetary police are attacking the PPG for their use of illegal weapons, and the PPG don’t have a chance. It is expected that the City of Dren will be peaceful for a while, until some other gang moves in.”
“Remarkable,” Kren said. “And all of this for just a few Ke placed in the right places. You have much to be proud of, Bronki!”
“Oh, I am, but I don’t dare brag about it. There are probably lots of survivors hiding in the basements, looking for someone to get even with!”
* * *
They found that one of Duke Dennon’s captains, Yor, was very proficient at logistics, and a good manager besides. She was put in charge of production, and costs went down as production went up. Kren was afraid that before the year was out, he’d have to give her a hefty bonus, just in order to keep her.
And remarkably, under the efficient direction of Chief Engineer Dako, construction proceeded on schedule, and at, or even sometimes slightly under, budget.
Still, sales didn’t begin to meet costs. And the betting odds on Kren continued to go down.
* * *
Dol’s study of the statistical anomalies of the betting on an excellent, but erratic, athlete named Kren was published in The Journal of Statistical Anomalies. They charged two thousand Ke for this service, which Dol paid for herself to boost her academic career. Over six dozen popular magazines picked up on the story, including some of the majors, three of whom actually paid Dol a total of three thousand Ke for the privilege.
The written language of the Mitchegai was standardized, and absolutely phonetic. If you could speak it, you could read it.
It used three gross and six phonemes, each with its own symbol, a huge number by human standards. While humans, with all of their thousands of languages, use over six gross phonemes, the largest number used by any one language is less than a gross, and English uses only four dozen and four, and only half that number of symbols.
But since there were several dozen Mitchegai languages and many more dialects of them, most popular magazines were written in Deno, the common tongue.
* * *
Dol appeared on eight television talk shows, two of which were broadcast planet-wide, telling about her findings, but none of them paid her. Nonetheless, any publicity was good for one’s career.
It did Kren no good at all. If anything, the publicity enhanced Kren’s fame far more than Dol’s. He had become too popular. Apparently, gamblers didn’t care about studies or logic. They bet on their gut feelings. They kept on betting on Kren. The odds kept going down.
Kren knew that the thing to do was to lose for three or four weeks straight, to disillusion his fans. But he couldn’t afford to do that. Building expenses were too high.
Betting his entire purse every weekend, he was not quite able to keep up with the spending that his building plans required. His purse started shrinking.
Then he got a letter from the City of Dren Internal Revenue Command. They had been watching his gambling income, and demanded that he pay them two billion Ke in taxes. Failure to do so immediately would result in his Death by Fire.
At this point, Kren didn’t have two billion Ke, not in ready cash, anyway.
He promptly called a meeting of the board of directors of the Superior Food Corporation.
* * *
When Bronki and Dol were gathered in Kren’s sitting room, surrounded by display cases of athletic medals and strange weapons, he explained the situation to them, and then said, “I take it that the IRC really is as ruthless as they claim to be?”
“I’m afraid so,” Bronki said. “What’s more, they like to make an example of high profile individuals. They feel it is good advertising, the better to intimidate the ordinary Mitchegai. And you, Kren, are about as high profile as you can get.”
“I see. I’m sure that you will both agree that without me here and alive to run it, this corporation is not likely to be successful. It desperately needs cash, to meet current and future expenses, and to loan to me, interest free, so that I can satisfy the IRC. Neither of you has put any significant amount of cash into the company account, even though you have both made fabulous sums betting on me. This is because you both anticipate a stock fight just before the next board elections. What I propose is that you each buy four billion Ke worth of company stock today. This will rescue both me and the company, and still keep your race fair.”
Bronki said, “It’s really all your fault, Kren. Your building plans were entirely too ambitious. You should have done things spread out over several years.”
“I had assumed that the betting odds would stay at least at the two to one level. Also, you both agreed with me on the building plans. Now, I need you each to contribute four billion Ke,” Kren said.
“That’s a lot of money, sir,” Dol said.
“Yes, surely you can think of some other alternative,” Bronki said.
“I have, but my only obvious alternative would be disadvantageous to me since it would result in my loss of the valuable services provided by both of you. To put it simply, I could kill you both, and by eating certain portions of your brains, I could obtain the information needed to gain access to all of your accounts. Thus, I would have all of the money that both of you possess, satisfying both the corporation’s needs and the IRC demands. However, I think that my original proposal is superior from all of our viewpoints.”
“I think that you are absolutely correct, sir,” Dol said quickly. “After all, there is no point in being a director of a nonexistent corporation, and I really prefer being alive to the alternative. Would a check suffice, or do you really need cash?”
“A check would be fine, and there’s still time to get it to the bank today.”
“My check will be there at the same time, Kren, to help you in this time of need. After all, what else are good friends for?” Bronki said.
Kren said, “I was sure that you would both see the wisdom of my suggestions.”
“Most assuredly, sir.”
They wrote up the checks and deposit slips right there, plus a check for two billion Ke from the corporation to Kren’s private account, signed by all three of them.
As Dol prepared to run it all to the bank before it closed, Kren said, “I have one other announcement. The payoff on our winnings has gotten extremely low, and Dol’s excellent campaign to educate my fans has proved to be unsuccessful. Therefore, with the director’s permission, I intend to have a losing streak. I will not be winning anything for the next three or four weeks. Let’s see if that gets the odds up to where they should be.”
“Yes, I think that in the long run, that might be the most profitable thing to do,” Bronki said. “If the odds get back up to five to one, we could recoup our losses at a single meet.”
Early the next morning, Kren verified that the checks had all cleared, and then personally paid the IRC their demanded taxes, being careful to get a receipt. With some organizations, even a warrior must tread carefully.
But by this time next year, Kren vowed to himself, I will be officially living on my own lands, and not subject to City of Dren taxes. Surely, a residence there, and a year-long commuter’s ticket, both costing infinitely less than two billion Ke, will satisfy the judges.
That evening, Bronki reminded him, politely, that he also had to pay the taxes and utilities on the two country houses that she had given him.
Kren grumbled, but paid.
* * *
“Ah, Kren,” the director said, “I take it you have your ‘prediction’ for next weekend?”
“Yes, sir. With your permission, I won’t win anything.”
“Indeed?”
“Sir, the payoffs on my wins have gotten so bad that it isn’t worth betting on me any more. When you are only getting five for four, and there is always a chance of something going wrong, well, why bother? I mean, what if some gang of muggers breaks my arm? Why take the risk? I figure if I have a losing streak for three or four weeks, my idiot fans will stop driving the odds down, and maybe we can make some decent money.”