Four feet of stiff abrasive clay, a handful at a time, climbing one-handed up a ten-foot shaft, tossing it away, climbing back down. Working under a foot of water, two feet of water.
Three feet of water. The muck was oozing in from the sides, filling the excavation almost as fast as I emptied it. But I was close. I took a deep breath and ducked under and probed down through clay-and-seashell stew and sensed what I wanted, very near. Three more dives and I had it. I held it in my fist and looked at it and for the first time admitted how slight the odds had been that I’d find it there, intact.
Once, in another lifetime, I had outjumped from the Dinosaur Beach Transfer Station, back along my own life line. I had ended on the deck of a stricken ship, just in time to get my earlier self killed in line of duty by a bullet from a Karg gun.
Stranded, I had used his emergency jump circuitry to pull me back to Dinosaur Beach, where I landed in a bog-hole that marked the place where the station had been once, a thousand years before. And so had the corpse, of course. In the excitement of getting my first lungful of rich, invigorating mud, I hadn’t devoted much thought to the fate of the dead me.
He had sunk into the mud, unnoted, and waited quietly for geology to seal him in.
Which it had, under fourteen feet of rock, and four of sand. There was nothing whatever left of the body, of course, not a belt buckle or a boot nail or a scrap of ischium.
But what I held in my hand now had survived. It was a one-inch cube of a synthetic material known as eternium, totally non-chronodegradable. And buried in its center was a tuned crystal, a power pack, and a miniaturized grab-field generator. Emergency gear, carried by me on that original mission, the memory of it wiped out by the post-mission brain-scrape-until a sufficient emergency arrived to trigger the recall.
I climbed back up out of my archeological dig and stood on the rock pile in the cold wind, adjusting my mind to the fact that my gamble had paid off. I took a last look at the tired old sun, at the empty beach, at the hole I had dug with such effort.
I almost hated to leave it so soon, after all that work. Almost, but not quite.
I set up the proper action code in my mind, and the cube in my hand seared my palm and the field closed around me, and threw me a million miles down a dark tunnel full of solid rock.
36
Someone was shaking me. I tried to summon up enough strength for a groan, didn’t make it, opened my eyes instead.
I was looking up into my own face.
For a few whirly instants I wondered if the younger me had made a nice comeback from the bog and was ready to collect his revenge for my getting him killed in the first place.
Then I noticed the lines in the face, and the hollow cheeks. The clothes this new me was wearing were identical with the ones I had on: an issue stationsuit, but new. It hung loose on a gaunt frame. And there was a nice bruise above the right eye that I didn’t remember getting.
“Listen carefully,” my voice said. “I don’t need to waste time telling you who I am and who you are. I’m you—but a jump ahead. I’ve come full circle. Dead end. Closed loop. No way out—except one—maybe. I don’t like it much, but I don’t see any alternative. Last time around we had the same talk—but I was the new arrival then, and another version of us was here ahead of me with the same proposal I’m about to make you.” He waved a hand as I started to open my mouth. “Don’t bother with the questions; I asked them myself last time. I thought there had to be another way. I went on—and wound up back here. Now I’m the welcoming committee.”
“Then maybe you remember I could do with a night’s sleep,” I said. “I ache all over.”
“You weren’t quite in focal position on the jump here,” he said, not with any noticeable sympathy. “You cracked like a whip, but nothing’s seriously dislocated. Come on, get up.”
I got up on my elbows and shook my head, both in negation and to clear some of the fog. That was a mistake. It made the throbbing worse. He got me on my feet and I saw I was back in the Ops Room of a Timecast station.
“That’s right,” he said. “Back at home port again—or the mirror image of it. Complete except for the small detail that the jump field’s operating in a closed loop. Outside there’s nothing.”
“I saw it, remember?”
“Right. That was the first time around. You jumped out into a post-segment of your life—a non-objective dead end. You were smart, you figured a way out—but they were there ahead of us, too. You struggled hard, but the circle’s still closed—and here you are.”
“And I thought I was maneuvering him,” I said. “While he thought he was maneuvering me.”
“Yeah—and now the play is to us—unless you’re ready to concede.”
“Not quite,” I said.
“I … we’re … being manipulated,” he said. “The Karg had something in reserve after all. We have to break the cycle. You have to break it.” He unhoistered the gun at his hip and held it out.
“Take this,” he said, “and shoot me through the head.”
I choked on what I started to say.
“I know all the arguments,” my future self was saying. “I used them myself, about a week ago. That’s the size of this little temporal enclave we have all to ourselves. But they’re no good. This is the one real change we can introduce.”
“You’re out of your mind, pal,” I said. I felt a little uneasy talking to myself, even when the self I was talking to was facing me from four feet away, needing a shave. “I’m not the suicidal type—even when the me I’m killing is you.”
“That’s what they’re counting on. It worked, too, with me. I refused to do it. He gave me the sardonic grin I’d been using on people for years. “If I had, who knows—it might have saved my life.” He weighed the gun on his hand and now his expression was very cold indeed.
“If I thought shooting you would help, I’d do it without a tremor,” he said. He was definitely he now.
“Why don’t you?”
“Because you’re in the past—so to speak. Killing you wouldn’t change anything. But if you kill me—that introduces a change in the vital equations—and possibly changes your… our future. Not a very good bet, maybe, but the only one going.”
“Suppose I introduce a variation of my own,” I said.
He looked weary. “Name it.”
“Suppose we out—jump together, using the station box?”
“It’s been tried,” he said tersely.
“Then you jump, while I wait here.”
“That’s been tried, too.”
“Then do the job yourself!”
“No good.”
“We’re just playing an old tape, eh? Including this conversation?”
“Now you’re getting the idea.”
“What if you varied your answers?”
“What would that change? Anyway, it’s been tried. Everything’s been tried. We’ve had lots of time—I don’t know how much; but enough to play the scene in all its little variations. It always ends on the same note—you jumping out alone, going through what I went through, and coming back to be me.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“The fact that the next room is full of bones,” he said, with a smile that wasn’t pretty. “Our bones. Plus the latest addition, which still has a little spoiled meat on it. That’s what that slight taint in the air is. It’s what’s in store for me. Starvation. So it’s up to you.”
“Nightmare,” I said. “I think I’ll go sleep it off.”
“Uh-huh—but you’re awake,” he said, and caught my hand and shoved the gun into it. “Do it now—before I lose my nerve!”
“Let’s talk a little sense,” I said. “Killing you won’t change anything. What I could do alone we could do better together.”
“Wrong. The only ace we’ve got left is to introduce a major change in the scenario.”
“What happens if I jump out again?”
“You end up back aboard the S�o Guadalupe, watching yourself foul up an assignment.”
“What if I don’t foul it up this time—if I clear the door?”
“Same difference. You end up here. I know. I tried it.”
“You mean—the whole thing? The mudhole, Mellia?”
“The whole thing. Over and over. And you’ll end up here. Look at it this way, Ravel: the Karg has played his ace; we’ve got to trump it or fold.”