She was wearing a kinky blond wig glittering with droplets of rain, horn-rimmed glasses, and a pair of false dentures that gave her an overbite.
“You look better this way,” Laura said, grinning.
Thelma popped out the fake teeth. “Listen, once I turned up a set of wheels that wouldn’t draw attention, I realized that I’d draw some attention myself, being a major star and everything. And since the media’s already dug up the fact that you and I are friends and have tried to ask me some pointed questions about you, the famous machine-gun-packing authoress, I decided to come incognito. ” She dropped her purse and the stage teeth on the bed. ‘ ‘This getup was for a new character I created in my nightclub act, tried it about eight times at Bally’s in Vegas. It was a primo flop, that character. The audience spat at me, Shane, they brought in the casino’s security guard and tried to have me arrested, they questioned my right to share the same planet with them—oh, they were rude, Shane, they were—”
Suddenly she halted in the middle of her patter and burst into tears. She rushed to Laura, threw her arms around her. “Oh, Jesus, Laura, I was scared, I was so scared. When I heard the news about San Bernardino, machine guns, and then the way they found your house at Big Bear, I thought you … or maybe Chris … I was so worried . . .”
Holding Thelma as tightly as Thelma was holding her, Laura said, “I’ll tell you all about it, but the main thing is we’re all right, and we think maybe we have a way to get out of the hole we’re in.”
“Why didn’t you call me, you silly bitch?”
“I did call you.”
“Only this morning! Two days after you’re splashed all over the newspapers. 1 nearly went crazy.”
“I’m sorry. I should’ve called sooner. I just didn’t want to get you involved if I could avoid it.”
Reluctantly Thelma let go of her. “I’m inevitably, deeply, and hopelessly involved, you idiot, because you’re involved.” She pulled a Kleenex from a pocket of her suede jacket and blotted her j eyes.
“You have another one of those?” Laura asked.
Thelma gave her a Kleenex, and they both blew their noses.
“We were on the lam, Aunt Thelma,” Chris said. “It’s hard to stay in touch with people when you’re on the lam.”
Taking a deep, shuddery breath, Thelma said, “So, Shane, where are you keeping your collection of severed heads? In the bathroom? I heard you left one behind in San Bernardino. Sloppy. Is this a new hobby of yours, or have you always had an appreciation for the beauty of the human head unencumbered by all the messy extremities?”
“I want you to meet someone,” Laura said. “Thelma Ackerson, this is Stefan Krieger.”
“Pleased to meet you,” Thelma said.
“You’ll excuse me if I don’t get up,” Stefan said. “I’m still recuperating.”
“If you can excuse this wig, I can excuse anything.” To Laura, Thelma said, “Is he who I think he is?”
“Yes.”
“Your guardian?”
“Yes.”
Thelma went to Stefan and kissed him wetly on both cheeks. “I’ve no idea where you come from or who the hell you are, Stefan Krieger, but I love you for all the times you’ve helped my Laura.” She stepped back and sat on the foot of the bed beside Chris “Shane, this man you have here is gorgeous. Look at him. he’s 4 hunk. I’ll bet you shot him just so he couldn’t get away. He took* just like a guardian angel ought to look.” Stefan was embarrassed,
but Thelma would not be stopped. “You’re a real dish, Krieger. I want to hear all about you. But first, here’s the money you asked for, Shane.” She opened her voluminous purse and withdrew a thick wad of hundred-dollar bills.
Examining the money, Laura said, “Thelma, I asked you for four thousand. There’s at least twice that here.”
“Ten or twelve thousand, I think.” Thelma winked at Chris and said, “When my friends are on the lam, I insist they go first class.”
Thelma listened to the story, never expressing disbelief. Stefan was surprised by her open-mindedness, but she said, “Hey, once you’ve lived at Mcllroy Home and Caswell Hall, the universe holds no more surprises. Time travelers from 1944? Pah! At Mcllroy I could’ve shown you a woman as big as a sofa, who wore clothes made of bad upholstery fabric, and who was paid a handsome civil-service wage to treat orphaned children like vermin. Now there is an amazement.” She was clearly affected by Stefan’s origins, chilled and amazed by the trap they were in, but even under these circumstances she was Thelma Ackerson, always looking for the laugh in everything.