The following day during visiting hours, Thelma Ackerson came to see the baby and the new mother. Still dressed punkish and ahead of her time—hair long on the left side of her head, with a white streak like the bride of Frankenstein, and short on the right side, with no streak—she breezed into Laura’s private room, went straight to Danny, threw her arms around him, hugged him hard, and said, “God, you’re big. You’re a mutant. Admit it, Packard, your mother might have been human, but your father was a grisly bear.” She came to the bed where Laura was propped up against three pillows, kissed her on the forehead and then on the cheek. “I went to the nursery before I came here, had a peek at Christopher Robert through the glass, and he’s adorable. But I think you’re going to need all the millions you can make from your books, kiddo, because that boy is going to take after his father, and your food bill’s going to run thirty thousand a month. Until you get him housebroken, he’ll be eating your furniture.” Laura said, “I’m glad you came, Thelma.” “Would I miss it? Maybe if I was playing a Mafia-owned club in Bayonne, New Jersey, and had to cancel out part of a date to fly back, maybe then I’d miss it because if you break a contract with those guys they cut off your thumbs and make you use them as suppositories. But I was west of the Mississippi when I got the news last night, and only nuclear war or a date with Paul McCartney could keep me away.”
Almost two years ago Thelma had finally gotten time on the stage at the Improv, and she’d been a hit. She landed an agent and began to get paid bookings in sleazy, third-rate—and eventually second-rate—clubs across the country. Laura and Danny had driven into Los Angeles twice to see her perform, and she had been hilarious; she wrote her own material and delivered it with the comic timing she had possessed since childhood but had honed in the intervening years. Her act had one unusual aspect that would either make her a national phenomenon or ensure her obscurity: Woven through the jokes was a strong thread of melancholy, a sense of the tragedy of life that existed simultaneously with the wonder and humor of it. In fact it was similar to the tone of Laura’s novels, but what appealed to book readers was less likely to appeal to audiences who had paid for belly laughs.
Now Thelma leaned across the bed railing, peered closely at Laura and said, “Hey, you look pale. And those rings around your eyes …”
“Thelma, dear, I hate to shatter your illusions, but a baby isn’t really brought by the stork. The mother has to expel it from her own womb, and it’s a tight fit.”
Thelma stared hard at her, then directed an equally hard stare at Danny, who had come around the other side of the bed to hold Laura’s hand. “What’s wrong here?”
Laura sighed and, wincing with discomfort, shifted her position slightly. To Danny, she said, “See? I told you she’s a bloodhound.”
“It wasn’t an easy pregnancy, was it?” Thelma demanded. “The pregnancy was easy enough,” Laura said. “It was the delivery that was the problem.”
“You didn’t . . . almost die or anything, Shane?” “No, no, no,” Laura said, and Danny’s hand tightened on hers. “Nothing that dramatic. We knew from the start there were going to be some difficulties along the way, but we found the best doctor, and he kept a close watch. It’s just … I won’t be able to have any more. Christopher will be our last.”
Thelma looked at Danny, at Laura, and said quietly, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right,” Laura said, forcing a smile. “We have little Chris, and he’s beautiful.”
They endured an awkward silence, and then Danny said, “I haven’t had lunch yet, and I’m starved. I’m going to slip down to the coffee shop for a half hour or so.”
When Danny left, Thelma said, “He’s not really hungry, is he? He just knew we wanted a girl-to-girl talk.” Laura smiled. “He’s a lovely man.”