“… Threes will be dead all night and treated as blank cards….”
“… And once a four-of-a-kind is played, that card value is also dead….”
“… Unless it’s a wild card, then it simply ceases to be wild and can be played normally….”
“… If there’s a ten showing in the first two face-up cards in each hand, then sevens will be dead….”
“… Unless there is a second ten showing, then it cancels the first….”
“… Of course, if the first card turned face up in a round is an Ogre, the round will be played with an extra hole card, four face up and five face down….”
“… A natural hand beats a hand of equal value built with wild cards….”
“Hey-that’s not a conditional modifier. That’s a regular rule.”
“It will be in effect, won’t it? Some of the conditional modifiers nullify standing rules, so I thought we should…”
“ARE YOU PUTTING ME ON?!!”
The conversation stopped on a dime as my coaches turned to stare at me.
“I mean, this is a joke. Right?”
“No, partner,” Aahz said carefully. “This is what dragon poker is all about. Like Chumley said, just be thankful you’re only playing one night and get to learn the abbreviated list.”
“But how am I supposed to stand a chance in this game? I’m not even going to be able to remember all the rules.”
An awkward silence came over the table.
“I … uhh . . . think you’ve missed the point, Skeeve,” Tananda said at last. “You don’t stand a chance. The Kid is the best there is. There’s no way you can learn enough in a few days or a few years to even give him a run for his money. All we’re trying to do is teach you enough so that you won’t embarrass yourself-as in ruin the reputation of the Great Skeeve-while he whittles away at your stake. You’ve got to at least look like you know what you’re doing. Otherwise you come across as a fool who doesn’t know enough to know how little he knows.”