“Whoa! Hold it!” I shouted over the clamor. “I can only take so much of this informative babbling at one time. Aahz! As my friend, partner, and sometimes mentor, could you deign to tell me in simple terms who the Ax is?”
“Nobody knows.”
I closed my eyes and gave my head a small shake in an effort to clear my ears. After all this ‘Gee, why don’t you know that?’ brouhaha, I could swear he said …
“He’s right, handsome,” Tananda chimed in. “The Ax’s real identity is one of the most closely guarded secrets in all the dimensions. That’s why he’s so effective at what he does.”
“That may be true,” I nodded. “But from the reaction in this room when you dropped the name, I’d guess that somebody knows something about him. Now, let me rephrase the question. If you don’t know who the Ax is, could someone enlighten me as to what he is?”
“The Ax is the greatest Character Assassin in all the dimensions,” Aahz said with a snarl. “He works freelance and charges fees that make ours look like pocket change. Once the Ax is on your tail, though, you might as well kiss it goodbye. He’s ruined more careers than five stock-market crashes. Haven’t you ever heard the expression ‘take the ax to someone’? Well, that’s where it comes from.”
I felt that all-too-familiar “down elevator” sensation in my stomach.
“How does he do it?”
“It varies,” my partner shrugged. “He tailor-makes his attack depending on the assignment. The only constant is that whatever you were when he started, you’re not when he’s done.”
“I wish you’d quit saying ‘you’ all the time. I’m not dead yet.”