everyone added weight by the concurrence of their own.
Your affectionate
Arabella Smythe.
THE FIRST ACT OF A COMEDY
CHARACTERS
Popgun Maria
Charles Pistolletta
Postilion Hostess
Chorus of ploughboys Cook
and and
Strephon Chloe
SCENE–AN INN
ENTER Hostess, Charles, Maria, and Cook.
Hostess to Maria) If the gentry in the Lion should want beds,
shew them number 9.
Maria) Yes Mistress.– EXIT Maria
Hostess to Cook) If their Honours in the Moon ask for the bill of
fare, give it them.
Cook) I wull, I wull. EXIT Cook.
Hostess to Charles) If their Ladyships in the Sun ring their
Bell–answerit.
Charles) Yes Madam. EXEUNT Severally.
SCENE CHANGES TO THE MOON, and discovers Popgun and Pistoletta.
Pistoletta) Pray papa how far is it to London?
Popgun) My Girl, my Darling, my favourite of all my Children, who
art the picture of thy poor Mother who died two months ago, with
whom I am going to Town to marry to Strephon, and to whom I mean
to bequeath my whole Estate, it wants seven Miles.
SCENE CHANGES TO THE SUN–
ENTER Chloe and a chorus of ploughboys.
Chloe) Where am I? At Hounslow.–Where go I? To London–. What
to do? To be married–. Unto whom? Unto Strephon. Who is he?
A Youth. Then I will sing a song.
SONG
I go to Town
And when I come down,
I shall be married to Streephon* [*Note the two e’s]
And that to me will be fun.
Chorus) Be fun, be fun, be fun,
And that to me will be fun.
ENTER Cook–
Cook) Here is the bill of fare.
Chloe reads) 2 Ducks, a leg of beef, a stinking partridge, and a
tart.–I will have the leg of beef and the partridge. EXIT Cook.
And now I will sing another song.
SONG–
I am going to have my dinner,
After which I shan’t be thinner,
I wish I had here Strephon
For he would carve the partridge if it should
be a tough one.
Chorus)
Tough one, tough one, tough one
For he would carve the partridge if it
Should be a tough one.
EXIT Chloe and Chorus.–
SCENE CHANGES TO THE INSIDE OF THE LION.
Enter Strephon and Postilion.
Streph:) You drove me from Staines to this place, from whence I
mean to go to Town to marry Chloe. How much is your due?
Post:) Eighteen pence.
Streph:) Alas, my freind, I have but a bad guinea with which I
mean to support myself in Town. But I will pawn to you an
undirected Letter that I received from Chloe.
Post:) Sir, I accept your offer.
END OF THE FIRST ACT.
A LETTER from a YOUNG LADY, whose feelings being too strong for
her Judgement led her into the commission of Errors which her
Heart disapproved.
Many have been the cares and vicissitudes of my past life, my
beloved Ellinor, and the only consolation I feel for their
bitterness is that on a close examination of my conduct, I am
convinced that I have strictly deserved them. I murdered my
father at a very early period of my Life, I have since murdered
my Mother, and I am now going to murder my Sister. I have
changed my religion so often that at present I have not an idea
of any left. I have been a perjured witness in every public tryal
for these last twelve years; and I have forged my own Will. In
short there is scarcely a crime that I have not committed–But I
am now going to reform. Colonel Martin of the Horse guards has
paid his Addresses to me, and we are to be married in a few days.
As there is something singular in our Courtship, I will give you
an account of it. Colonel Martin is the second son of the late
Sir John Martin who died immensely rich, but bequeathing only one
hundred thousand pound apeice to his three younger Children, left
the bulk of his fortune, about eight Million to the present Sir
Thomas. Upon his small pittance the Colonel lived tolerably
contented for nearly four months when he took it into his head to
determine on getting the whole of his eldest Brother’s Estate. A