On the tabour to the Worthies, and let them dance the hay.
HOLOFERNES Most dull, honest Dull! To our sport, away!
Exeunt
Scene 2
The same.
Enter the PRINCESS, KATHARINE, ROSALINE, and MARIA
PRINCESS Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart,
If fairings come thus plentifully in:
A lady wall’d about with diamonds!
Look you what I have from the loving king.
ROSALINE Madame, came nothing else along with that?
PRINCESS Nothing but this! yes, as much love in rhyme
As would be cramm’d up in a sheet of paper,
Writ o’ both sides the leaf, margent and all,
That he was fain to seal on Cupid’s name.
ROSALINE That was the way to make his godhead wax,
For he hath been five thousand years a boy.
KATHARINE Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows too.
ROSALINE You’ll ne’er be friends with him; a’ kill’d your sister.
KATHARINE He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy;
And so she died: had she been light, like you,
Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit,
She might ha’ been a grandam ere she died:
And so may you; for a light heart lives long.
ROSALINE What’s your dark meaning, mouse, of this light word?
KATHARINE A light condition in a beauty dark.
ROSALINE We need more light to find your meaning out.
KATHARINE You’ll mar the light by taking it in snuff;
Therefore I’ll darkly end the argument.
ROSALINE Look what you do, you do it still i’ the dark.
KATHARINE So do not you, for you are a light wench.
ROSALINE Indeed I weigh not you, and therefore light.
KATHARINE You weigh me not? O, that’s you care not for me.
ROSALINE Great reason; for ‘past cure is still past care.’
PRINCESS Well bandied both; a set of wit well play’d.
But Rosaline, you have a favour too:
Who sent it? and what is it?
ROSALINE I would you knew:
An if my face were but as fair as yours,
My favour were as great; be witness this.
Nay, I have verses too, I thank Biron:
The numbers true; and, were the numbering too,
I were the fairest goddess on the ground:
I am compared to twenty thousand fairs.
O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter!
PRINCESS Any thing like?
ROSALINE Much in the letters; nothing in the praise.
PRINCESS Beauteous as ink; a good conclusion.
KATHARINE Fair as a text B in a copy-book.
ROSALINE ‘Ware pencils, ho! let me not die your debtor,
My red dominical, my golden letter:
O, that your face were not so full of O’s!
KATHARINE A pox of that jest! and I beshrew all shrows.
PRINCESS But, Katharine, what was sent to you from fair Dumain?
KATHARINE Madam, this glove.
PRINCESS Did he not send you twain?
KATHARINE Yes, madam, and moreover
Some thousand verses of a faithful lover,
A huge translation of hypocrisy,
Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.
MARIA This and these pearls to me sent Longaville:
The letter is too long by half a mile.
PRINCESS I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart
The chain were longer and the letter short?
MARIA Ay, or I would these hands might never part.
PRINCESS We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.
ROSALINE They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.
That same Biron I’ll torture ere I go:
O that I knew he were but in by the week!
How I would make him fawn and beg and seek
And wait the season and observe the times
And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes
And shape his service wholly to my hests
And make him proud to make me proud that jests!
So perttaunt-like would I o’ersway his state
That he should be my fool and I his fate.
PRINCESS None are so surely caught, when they are catch’d,
As wit turn’d fool: folly, in wisdom hatch’d,
Hath wisdom’s warrant and the help of school
And wit’s own grace to grace a learned fool.
ROSALINE The blood of youth burns not with such excess
As gravity’s revolt to wantonness.
MARIA Folly in fools bears not so strong a note
As foolery in the wise, when wit doth dote;
Since all the power thereof it doth apply
To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.
PRINCESS Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.
Enter BOYET
BOYET O, I am stabb’d with laughter! Where’s her grace?
PRINCESS Thy news Boyet?
BOYET Prepare, madam, prepare!
Arm, wenches, arm! encounters mounted are
Against your peace: Love doth approach disguised,
Armed in arguments; you’ll be surprised:
Muster your wits; stand in your own defence;
Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence.
PRINCESS Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they
That charge their breath against us? say, scout, say.
BOYET Under the cool shade of a sycamore
I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour;
When, lo! to interrupt my purposed rest,
Toward that shade I might behold addrest
The king and his companions: warily
I stole into a neighbour thicket by,
And overheard what you shall overhear,
That, by and by, disguised they will be here.
Their herald is a pretty knavish page,
That well by heart hath conn’d his embassage:
Action and accent did they teach him there;
‘Thus must thou speak,’ and ‘thus thy body bear:’
And ever and anon they made a doubt
Presence majestical would put him out,
‘For,’ quoth the king, ‘an angel shalt thou see;
Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.’
The boy replied, ‘An angel is not evil;
I should have fear’d her had she been a devil.’
With that, all laugh’d and clapp’d him on the shoulder,
Making the bold wag by their praises bolder:
One rubb’d his elbow thus, and fleer’d and swore
A better speech was never spoke before;
Another, with his finger and his thumb,
Cried, ‘Via! we will do’t, come what will come;’
The third he caper’d, and cried, ‘All goes well;’
The fourth turn’d on the toe, and down he fell.
With that, they all did tumble on the ground,
With such a zealous laughter, so profound,
That in this spleen ridiculous appears,
To cheque their folly, passion’s solemn tears.
PRINCESS But what, but what, come they to visit us?
BOYET They do, they do: and are apparell’d thus.
Like Muscovites or Russians, as I guess.
Their purpose is to parle, to court and dance;
And every one his love-feat will advance
Unto his several mistress, which they’ll know
By favours several which they did bestow.
PRINCESS And will they so? the gallants shall be task’d;
For, ladies, we shall every one be mask’d;
And not a man of them shall have the grace,
Despite of suit, to see a lady’s face.
Hold, Rosaline, this favour thou shalt wear,
And then the king will court thee for his dear;
Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine,
So shall Biron take me for Rosaline.
And change your favours too; so shall your loves
Woo contrary, deceived by these removes.
ROSALINE Come on, then; wear the favours most in sight.
KATHARINE But in this changing what is your intent?
PRINCESS The effect of my intent is to cross theirs:
They do it but in mocking merriment;
And mock for mock is only my intent.
Their several counsels they unbosom shall
To loves mistook, and so be mock’d withal
Upon the next occasion that we meet,
With visages displayed, to talk and greet.
ROSALINE But shall we dance, if they desire to’t?
PRINCESS No, to the death, we will not move a foot;
Nor to their penn’d speech render we no grace,
But while ’tis spoke each turn away her face.
BOYET Why, that contempt will kill the speaker’s heart,
And quite divorce his memory from his part.
PRINCESS Therefore I do it; and I make no doubt
The rest will ne’er come in, if he be out
There’s no such sport as sport by sport o’erthrown,
To make theirs ours and ours none but our own:
So shall we stay, mocking intended game,
And they, well mock’d, depart away with shame.
Trumpets sound within
BOYET The trumpet sounds: be mask’d; the maskers come.
The Ladies mask
Enter Blackamoors with music; MOTH; FERDINAND, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN, in Russian habits, and masked
MOTH All hail, the richest beauties on the earth!–
BOYET Beauties no richer than rich taffeta.
MOTH A holy parcel of the fairest dames.
The Ladies turn their backs to him
That ever turn’d their–backs–to mortal views!
BIRON [Aside to MOTH]
Their eyes, villain, their eyes!
MOTH That ever turn’d their eyes to mortal views!–Out–
BOYET True; out indeed.
MOTH Out of your favours, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe
Not to behold–
BIRON [Aside to MOTH]
Once to behold, rogue.
MOTH Once to behold with your sun-beamed eyes,
–with your sun-beamed eyes–
BOYET They will not answer to that epithet;
You were best call it ‘daughter-beamed eyes.’
MOTH They do not mark me, and that brings me out.