L. BORGIA
“AH’D LIKE TO welcome you all to this man’s army! The first thing you should know is that we’re on a first name basis here … and my first name is sergeant … Do I make myself clear?”
At dis, the individual so addressin’ our group pauses and glares at us. Naturally, there’s no answer, as no one is particularly eager to call attention to themselves under dese circumstantials. It seems, however, dis was not the response the sergeant had in mind.
“Ah asked you a question!! Do you think Ah’m up here running my mouth ’cause Ah like the sound of mah own voice?”
It is clear that dis is a ploy to induce us new recruits into makin’ a mistake which will further anger the sergeant, as at this point he has asked not one, but two questions callin’ for opposite answers, and whatever answer is given is bound to be wrong. The other unfortunates in line with Nunzio and me seem to be unaware of this and blunder headlong into the trap.
“YES, SERGEANT!” they bleat eagerly.
“WHAT??!! Are ya’ll tryin’ to be funny?”
The sergeant, who I am glad I never had to compete against for a part in my old drama troupe, gives every impression of bein’ on the verge of foamin’ at the mouth and becomin’ violent to the point of injurin’ himself and anyone else in the near vicinity. Almost unnoticed, he has also asked a third question, placin’ the odds of comin’ up with an acceptable response well out of reach of the intellects in line with us.
“No … Ahh” … “Yes, Sergeant” … “Ahh … No?”
The attempt to shout an answer dissolves in a babble of confusion as the new recruits glance at each other tryin’ to sort out what they’re supposed to be sayin’.