“Are you aware, sergeant, that your squad is performing at ninety-five percent efficiency?”
“Ninety-five percent?” I sez, genuinely surprised, as our one-in-ten plan should be yieldin’ an even ninety percent.
“I know it sounds high,” the officer sez, misunderstandin’ my reaction, “especially considering that sixty-five percent is the normal efficiency rating, even for an experienced supply crew. Of course, a practiced eye can read between the lines and get a pretty good idea of what’s happening.”
“Sir?”
“Take this one shipment, for example,” he sez, tappin’ one of the sheets in front of him. “It took a shrewd eye with attention to detail to spot that this request for winter weight uniforms was actually several months old, and to realize that substituting summer weight uniforms would be more appropriate.”
A small alarm started goin’ off in the back of my head, but the officer was still talkin’.
“… or take this item, when you substituted cases of these propaganda leaflets for toilet paper. Everybody’s heard about the morale problem of that unit, but it seems you not only had an idea about what to do, you acted on it. It’s worked, incidentally … word is, their esprit de corps is at an all-time high since receiving your shipment.”
As he is speakin’ I am starin’ at the leaflet he has shoved across the desk. Now understand, we had sent this stuff out without openin’ the cartons, so this is the first time I am seein’ one of the actual leaflets. It features a large picture of Queen Hemlock, who is not a bad lookin’ broad normally, but looks particularly good in this picture as she is wearin’ little more than a suggestive smile. Underneath the picture in large letters is the question: WOULDN’T YOU RATHER BE ON MY SIDE? Though I do not pretend to be a sociology expert like my cousin Nunzio, I can see where this would perk up a depressed soldier.