M.Y.T.H. Inc In Action by Robert Asprin

Secondous, and more to the point, however, it was unclear how we was supposed to use these tactics while in the army. You see, at this point it was no secret that the army of Possiltum was the largest, best equipped force around, so few kingdoms or towns chose to buck the long odds by confrontin’ them in the field where formation-type tactics would come into play. Consequentially, there was little actual fightin’ goin’ on when they moved into a new neighborhood, an any opposition offered was more on the order of covertous resistance of the stab-em-in-the-back or slit-their-throats-while-they’re-asleep-type variety. As formations were of absolutely no use in dealin’ with this kind of petty harassment, it was hard for us to understand why we was havin’ to spend so much time learnin’ about them.

Somehow, however, Sergeant Smiley neglects to ask our advice as to the content of his trainin’ program, so we are spared the discomfort of havin’ to figure out how to share our views with him without hurtin’ his feelin’s.

Similarly, when it is explained to us that we has to learn marchin’ as it is “the best way to move a group of soldiers from one point to another in the shortest period of time,” we are not given a chance to ask if the army in general or the sergeant in specific has considered the benefits of rapid transit.

While there are numerous points like this of dubious logic throughout our trainin’ there is only one point which we take serious exception to. While we take great pains to keep this variation from army thinkin’ from becomin’ obvious, it finally escapes into the light of public notice one day while we are at the firin’ range.

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