M.Y.T.H. Inc In Action by Robert Asprin

“All you and your boys gotta do is spend a certain number of hours a day patrolling the streets in uniform so’s folks can see the army is here. The rest of the time, you’re on your own.”

“You mean like policemen?”

The words just sorta popped outta my mouth, but they must’a had a note of horror in them, as the commander broke off what he was doin’ to look at me direct.

“Not really,” he sez, quick-like. “We used to be responsible for patrolling the streets, but the town’s grown to a point where it has its own police force, and we try not to interfere with their authority. They watch the citizens, and our own Military Police watches our troops. Clear and separate. See?”

“Yes sir.”

“… which brings us to another point,” the commander continues, startin’ to scribble on his papers again. ‘There’s a non-fraternization rule in effect for our troops. We don’t enforce it too strictly, so you don’t have to worry if one of the … ah, ladies makes advances toward you or your men, but let them come to you. Don’t start messing around with the ordinary civilian women. It’s liable to get the civilian men upset however it goes, and our main directive here is to not incite any trouble with the civilians. Be nice to them … show them we’re just plain folks, like they are. If you can do that, then they’re less inclined to believe any wild stories they might hear about what our troops are doing on the front lines. Got that?”

I didn’t think it would really matter what I said or did, as the commander is rattlin’ all this off like it is memorized while he fiddles with his writin’. I didn’t think it would be wise to test this theory, however.

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