M.Y.T.H. Inc In Action by Robert Asprin

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!??” he screeches, lookin’ around the place desperately, only to find we are the only ones present. “YOU TRYIN’ TO GET ME LYNCHED???”

With that, he goes scuttlin’ off, leavin’ Nunzio and me to deal with the confusion caused by the removal of his disguise.

“THAT WAS A DEVIL!!!”

I miss who exactly it is who observes this particular utterance, as it is said behind me and the choked, gargley nature of the voice makes positive identification no easy task. Still, I have no difficulty comin’ up with a response.

“I know. That’s what I said before,” I explain.

“No, you said he was a Da-veel,” Junebug sez frownin’.

“Same difference,” I shrugs.

“Look,” Spyder sez, holdin’ up a hand to the others for them to be quiet. “Are you guys going to tell us what’s goin’ on here or not?”

“Guido,” Nunzio sez, jerkin’ his head in the direction the proprietor has gone. “Why don’t you go do a little negotiating with our host before he gets too recovered from our little surprise, whilst I try to explain the facts of life to our colleagues.”

This is fine by me, as I do not share my cousin’s love of lengthy and confusin’ explanations and am glad to be excused from what promises to be a classic opportunity for him to pontificate. Besides, it is not often that one has a chance to really stick it to a Deveel, and as in those few occasions I have been present for, I have usually had rank pulled on my by the financial types of the M.Y.T.H. Inc. team, I am lookin’ forward to a rare opportunity to demonstrate my own negotiatin’ talents. Of course, it occurs to me that the only witness I will have for this exercise will be the individual upon whom I am turnin’ the screws, and he will doubtless be less than appreciative of my finesse. Doin’ one’s best work in the absence of witnesses is, however, one of the unfortunate and unjust realities of my chosen profession, and I have long since resigned myself to the burden of anonymity … tellin’ myself that if I had wanted to be a well-known crook, I should have gone into politics.

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