“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR BLOODY MIND??!!!” Chumley was suddenly leaning over my desk, his two moon eyes of different sizes scant inches from my own. It occurred to me that I had never seen the troll really angry. Upon viewing it, I sincerely hoped I would never see it again. That is, of course, assuming I could survive the first time.
“Whoa! Chumley! Calm! What’s wrong?”
“YOU SENT HER OUT ON A COLLECTION JOB ALONE?”
“She should be all right,” I said hastily. “It sounded like a pretty calm mission. In fact, that’s why I sent her instead of one of our heavy hitters … I thought the job called for finesse, not muscle. Besides, Tananda can take care of herself pretty well.”
The troll groaned and let his head fall forward until it thudded on my desk. He stayed that way for a few moments, breathing deeply, before he spoke.
“Skeeve . . . Skeeve . . . Skeeve. I keep forgetting how new you are to our little family.”
This was starting to get me worried.
“C’mon, Chumley, what’s wrong? Tananda will be okay, won’t she?”
The troll raised his head to look at me.
“Skeeve, you don’t realize … we all relax around you, but you never see us when you aren’t around.”
Terrific.
“Look, Chumley. Your logic is as enviable as ever, but can’t you just say what the problem is? If you think Tananda’s in danger …”
“SHE’S NOT THE ONE I’M WORRIED ABOUT!”
With visible effort, Chumley composed himself.
“Skeeve … let me try to explain. Little sister is a wonderful person, and I truly love and admire her, but she has a tendency to … overreact under pressure. Mum always said it was her competitive reaction to having an older brother who could tear things apart without trying, but some of the people she’s worked with tend to simply describe it as a mean streak. In a nutshell, though, Tananda has a bigger flair for wanton destruction than I do … or anyone else I’ve ever met. Now, if this job you’re describing calls for finesse …”