“Not anymore,” he shrugged. “This is home sweet home these days. Can’t think of anyplace else I’ve been that would let me operate as a respectable businessman.”
Tananda gagged slightly on her drink.
“A respectable businessman? C’mon, Weasel. This is Tananda and Chumley you’re talking to. How long have we known you? I don’t believe you’ve had an honest thought that whole time.”
Weasel shook his head sadly.
“Look around you, sweetheart. This is my place . . . or at least it used to be. Been running it fair and square for some time now. It may not be as exciting as my old lifestyle, but it’s easily as profitable since I never lose any time in the slammer.”
Little sister was opening her mouth to make another snide remark when I elbowed her in the ribs. While I’m not above a bit of larceny myself from time to time, I figured that if Weasel genuinely wanted to go straight, the least we could do is not give him a hard time about it.
“So tell me, old chap,” I said. “What brought about this amazing reform? A good woman or a bad caper?”
“Neither, actually. The way it was, see, was that I was framed … no, really, this time. I hadn’t done a thing, but all the evidence had me pegged for being guilty as sin. I thought I had really had it, but this guy pops up and backs me hard. I mean, he springs for a really good mouthpiece, and when the jury finds me guilty anyway, he talks to the judge and gets me a suspended sentence. As if that weren’t enough, after I’m loose again, he spots me the cash I need to start this place … a nice no-interest loan. ‘Pay it back when you can,’ he sez. I’ll tell you, I ain’t never had anybody believe in me like that before. Kinda made me think things over about how I was always saying that I had to be a crook ‘cause no one would give me a fair shake. Well, sir, I decided to give the honest life a try… and haven’t regretted it yet.”