For a storefront shop, the place was a disaster. Their stock could only be described as “stuff” . . . and that’s bein’ generous. There were T-shirts and ash trays and little dolls all mixed in with medications and magazines in no particular order. The shelves were crammed with a small selection of the cheap end of everything. They didn’t have as many clothing items as a clothing store, as many hardware items as a hardware store … I could go on, but you get the point. If you wanted selection or quality in anything, you’d have ta go somewhere else. In short, it was just the sort of place I was lookin’ for.
“Can I help you, lady?”
The proprietor was perched behind the counter on a stool readin’ a newspaper. He didn’t get up when he talked ta me, so I decided ta shake him up a little.
“Well, yes. I was thinkin’ a buyin’ a lot of … stuff. Can you give me some better prices if I buy in volume?”
That brought him out from behind the counter with a pad and pencil which had materialized out of thin air.
“Why, sure, lady. Always ready to deal. What was it you were thinking of?”
I took my time and looked around the place again.
“Actually, I was wonderin’ if you could quote me a price on everything in the store.”
“Everything? Did you say everything?”
“Everything.. including your sweet adorable self.”
“I don’t understand, lady. Are you saying you want to buy my store?”
“Not the store, just what’s in it. I’m thinkin’ this place could do better in a new location. Truthfully now, how has business been going for you lately?”