M.Y.T.H. Inc. Link By Robert Asprin

“The Boss wants us to find out how the goods of a particular establishment is successfully wanderin’ off the premises without detection,” I sez. “To that end I am to intermingle with the workers as one of them to see if I can determine how this is bein’ accomplished.”

“And . . .” she sez, givin’ me the hairy eyeball.

“… And you are to do the same, only with the office types. At the end of a week we are to regroup in order that we may compare observations and see if we are perhaps barkin’ up the wrong tree.”

“And …” she sez again, lookin’ a trifle agitated.

At this point I commence to grow a trifle nervous, for while she is obviously expectin’ me to continue in my oration, I have run out of instructions to reiterate.

“. . . And . . . ummm …” I sez, tryin’ to think of what I have overlooked.

“. . . And not to start any trouble!” she finishes, lookin’ at me hard-like. “Right?”

“Yeah. Sure, Bunny.”

“Say it!”

“… And not to start any trouble.”

Now I am more than a little hurt that Bunny feels it is necessary to bring this point to my attention so forceful like, as in my opinion it is not in my nature to start trouble under any circumstances. Both Nunzio and me go out of our way to avoid any unnecessary disputes of a violent nature, and only bestir ourselves to bring such difficulties to a halt once they are thrust upon us. I do not, however, bring my injured feelings to Bunny’s attention as I know she is a swell person who would not deliberately inflict such wounds upon the self-image of a delicate person such as myself. She is merely nervous as to the successful completion of the pending job, as I have previously orated, and would only feel bad if I were to let on how callous and heartless she was behavin’. There are many in my line of work who display similar signs of nervousness when preparin’ for a major assignment. I once worked with a guy what had a tendency to fidget with a sharp knife when waitin’ for a job to commence, usually on the bods of his fellow caperers. One can only be understandin’ of the motivationals of such types and not take offense at their personal foibles when the heat is on. This is one of the secrets of success learned early on by us executive types. Be that as it may, I am forced to admit I am more than a little relieved when it is time for the job to begin, allowin’ me to part company with Bunny for a while.

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