I was begmmog to learn the purpose behind Brother Titus, and the reason for all the extraordinary caution.
And if that extraordinary caution carried over to an things, and assuming the trailer was not bugged, then Stella would be asked to give a report about her lovemaking with Brother Thomas.
“Oh, all we did was talk. He asked ~ lot of questions and we talked, and then after all that, he didn’t want to. He said he wasn’t gay, but he just didn’t feel like it.”
She had begun to use her hooker skills, and I had begun to respond to her. After all, what the helL She was skillful and knowing. To her I was a tumescence of a certain length and girth, differing hardly at all from the many hundreds of others. Emotions need not be involved. I would think only of sensation. It did not have to have anything to do with mind and memory. As I began to switch roles from submission to domination, I told myself I could not, in any circumstances, Mink about the face and body and love of Gretel Howard.
I sagged back beside Stella and she said, “Hey, what happens?”
‘Em sorry.”
“Did something about me put you off, honey?”
“No. It wasn’t anything like that I Vhat then?”
‘I don’t know.”
This sure isn’t turning out to be one of my better nights.”
‘Tm sorry.”
“Look, Fm not sore. You know what I think it was? It was being conned into shooting Nicky like you did. Something like that, if you’re not used to it, can really shake you up inside. And then me coming in here like this when you weren’t expecting
The Green Ripper it. And after all, Brother, you are not some eighteen-year-old guy who can get it off before he’s unzipped. These things happen. Don’t worry about me. I lost it too. Too much talking.”
“rm sorry.”
‘4Let’s just talk. I kind of like talking to you. And maybe we can have a little nap, and after that maybe we’ll both be okay again, you know? How about that?”
‘`All right.”
“You sure I didn’t spoil it for you somehow?’,
‘`No. You’re… an attractive woman.”
‘`I’m not much. Eve got a pretty good body, compared to most. But I’ve got this tough yellowy skin, and if you look close, one eye points out a little bit, the right one. And the receding jaw. You know, I was saving up for an operation, a fellow that puts some kind of bone from your hip or someplace back here by the corners of your jaw and that pushes it forward, and then they fix your bite. I saw before-and-after pictures. It would really make a big difference. But that’s vanity, isn’t it? 1~11 be twenty-six in two months. I used to think about marriage and babies. I think I’d be okay with babies. Better than they were with me, I know.- My dad broke two fingers on my left hand once, grabbing me when he lost his temper. They say if you’ve been abused, you abuse your own. I can’t believe that. I’d be okay with kids. But there’s no point in even thinking about it now, is there? By this time next year, I’ll probably be dead. Like Nicky. He just went a little ahead of the rest of us.”
“Are they supposed to be suicide missions?”
‘`Not really. Everybody is supposed to do their best to get away. And we’ll be given a staging area to go to where we can be regrouped and re- equipped and given new assignments. But if a person keeps doing it, how many times can you get away?”
“Everything will be in a state of confusion.”
“You can believe it.”
“But you know who is going to suffer the most, don’t you?”
“Sure. The bottom layer of society. The poor and the minorities and the old ones. They won’t have the money to take care of themselves when the food and the water and the medicines run out. They won’t be able to run. That’s when they’ll rise up against the state. Then there’ll be some kind of burning and killing. That’s when the whole thing goes to hell for sure.”