“We can stand to lose a few if that’s the way it has to be.”
“But that’s the point. That’s not the way it has to be.”
“What if I died, Miles? Tonight, just like that. Dead and buried. What would you do then? You’d have the same problem, basically. How would you solve it?”
“It’s not the same thing, damn it, and you know it! The analogy stinks!” Miles came to his feet and leaned forward abruptly, arms braced on the desk. “I don’t understand what in the hell has gotten into you. Doc. I don’t understand at all. You’ve always been so damn dependable! A bit unorthodox in the courtroom, sure — but always level-headed, always under control. And a really brilliant trial lawyer. Hell, if I had half of your talent…”
“Miles, will you give me a break…?”
The big man brushed the comment aside with a shake of his head. “A whole goddamn year you want to go trooping about? Just like that? First you fly off to New York without a word of explanation, chasing after God knows what, leaving the same day you decide to go, not even talking with me about it, not a word since we sat here and talked about that crazy item in that catalogue, whatever the name of it was, Ross, or Rosenberg’s or whatever the hell, and now off again, just like…”
He stopped suddenly, the words dying away in his throat. His face froze in stunned recognition. “Oh, my God!” he whispered softly. His head shook slowly from side to side.
“Oh, my God! It’s that damn catalogue fantasyland, isn’t it?”
Ben didn’t answer him for a moment, undecided as to whether he should. He had intended to keep Landover a secret. He had intended to say nothing of it to anyone.
“Miles, sit back down, will you?” he said finally.
“Sit down? How in God’s name do you expect me to sit down after…?
“Just sit the hell down, Miles!” Ben cut his friend short. Miles went still, held his position a moment longer, then sank slowly back into his chair. The stunned look stayed on his florid face.
Now it was Ben who leaned forward. His face was hard. “We’ve been together a long time, Miles — as friends and partners both. We know a lot about each other. Most of it we’ve learned from experiences shared. But we don’t know everything about each other because that’s not possible. No two human beings can know everything about each other, even under the best of circumstances. That’s why certain things we do always remain a mystery to everyone else.”
He cocked his head. “Remember the times you’ve warned me about backing away from a case because there was something not quite right about it? Remember, Miles? Drop that case, you’d tell me. It’s bad news. It’s a loser. Drop it. Sometimes I’d do it. I’d agree with you and I’d drop it. But sometimes I wouldn’t. Sometimes I’d take the case anyway, and I’d tell you I was taking it because it felt right to me. You’d go along with that decision — even though you didn’t agree with it and you really didn’t understand it. But you trusted me to take the chance, didn’t you?”
He paused. “Well, that’s what I’m asking you to do now. You can’t understand and you won’t agree. So just put all that aside and trust me.”
Miles’ eyes shifted to the desk top and up again. “Doc, you’re talking a million dollars here!”
Ben shook his head slowly. “No, I’m not. I’m talking about saving myself. Miles. I’m talking about something that doesn’t have a price tag.”
“But this is… crazy!” Miles’ hands gripped the edge of the desk top until the knuckles were white. “This is irresponsible! It’s just plain stupid, damn it!”
“I don’t see it that way.”
“You don’t? Shucking off your professional responsibilities, your life’s work? Going off to live in a castle and fight dragons — assuming there are any and you’re not simply getting fleeced? No TV, no Bears games, no Wrigley Field, no cold beer, no goddamn electricity or showers with hot water or indoor toilets or anything? Leaving behind your home and your friends and… Jesus Christ, Doc!”